[Vocabulary] Hey! I need some help with a motivation letter. I just need someone to check over :]

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-AngerWing-

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NB! I don`t know form what letters concists of the word "Böck" (Frau Anna-Rosa Böck)

Motivation letter EVS, March 2012


Name: [removed for privacy]
Date of birth: 2 May 1993
Country: Estonia


Dear Mrs. [removed for privacy],

In this motivation letter I would like to intruduce myself why I would like to participate in your European Voluntary Service project.
My name is [removed for privacy]. I am eightteen years old girl, and I live in Estonia. First of all I would like to tell you something about myself. Generally I am a friendly and honest girl who is open-minded to new ideas and who is eager to gain new experiences. I am also interested in the new people around me and work with children and young people in an commonity where people of different outlook on life live. I like to to help young people to become self-confident and independent presonalities. For example, I visit after school more than twice a week youth group in my own minor village where we share our daily news and dealing with something together. One of our traditions is for example making the pocket mirrors on every Friday.
I am a student studying last year in secondary school and I have now arrived at the point where I have to desicions that are important for my future. I describe me as a helpful, cheerful, positive thinking young girl. Furthermore helping other people with their problems is very important for me. I think that the most important value in my life is that I try to do the best I can, but also to be happy with my life.
Naturally, I would like to to meet new people, learn a new language and also practice my English too and have some pleasant months abroad which I will always remember. After the European Voluntary Service I want to start studying, probably psychology or social work at the university in Estonia.
At the moment I am still living with my mother, two brothers and two sisters. My other four brothers and two elder sisters, who are already living in their own flat, are part of my life too. My family is a big part of my life and they are supporting me with my plans to stay abroad and help me if I ask them for advice.
My hobbies are especially playing basketball or volleyball, listening to music, taking photographs and doing other sports. In winter also skiing or skating and meetng friends. I also like travelling a lot, because I`m very interested in other cultures and countries. I am convinced that all countries have something unique and I want to discover the uniqueness of the country – in this case, Germany`s.
There are lots of things which motivates me to participate at the EVS . First of all, I want to get to know a new country and culture. Moreover I want to gain experience for my further life. I always wanted to engage in social pursuits. I also enjoy doing voluntary work because I want to make myself useful in the world and help others in need.
I will gain confidence and become more self-sufficient as I will live away from home. Nevertheless, I look forward to a new adventure and I am opend for every new experience.
I think I will be able to get a part of this project easily and will be able to work in the team with everybody without problems. I am already excited what will wait for me abroad. But I am sure that I will meet new people, who will get good friends. :)

I am really looking forward to hear from you!

With kind regards,
[removed for privacy]



Maybe you can give me some advise about how to formalize that motivation letter better. :)) Or something else..
 
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billmcd

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NB! I don`t know form what letters concists of the word "Böck" (Frau Anna-Rosa Böck)

Motivation letter EVS, March 2012


Name: Marjanne Priidik
Date of birth: 2 May 1993
Country: Estonia


Dear Mrs. Anna Rosa B?ck,

[STRIKE]In this motivation letter [/STRIKE]I would like to intruduce myself and describe why I would like to participate in your European Voluntary Service project.

My name is Marjanne Priidik. I am eightteen years old [STRIKE]girl,[/STRIKE] and I live in Estonia. [STRIKE]First of all I would like to tell you something about myself. [/STRIKE] [STRIKE]Generally [/STRIKE] I am a friendly and honest girl who is open-minded to new ideas and who is eager to gain new experiences. I am also interested in working with [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE]new people [STRIKE]around me [/STRIKE]and working with children and young people in [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] a community where people of different outlooks on life live. I would like to to help young people to become self-confident and independent [STRIKE]presonalities[/STRIKE]. For example, I visit a youth group after school more than twice a week [STRIKE]youth group [/STRIKE]in my own [STRIKE]minor[/STRIKE] village where we share our daily [STRIKE]news [/STRIKE] activities and deal[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] with [STRIKE]something[/STRIKE] issues together. One of our traditions is, for example, making [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] pocket mirrors [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] every Friday.

I am a student studying in my last year in secondary school and I have now arrived at the point where I have to consider decisions that are important for my future. I would describe [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] myself as a helpful, cheerful, positive thinking young girl. Furthermore, helping other people with their problems is very important for me. I think that the most important value in my life is that I try to do the best I can, but also to be happy with my life.

Naturally, I would like to to meet new people, learn a new language and also practice my English too and have some pleasant months abroad which I will always remember. After the European Voluntary Service I want to [STRIKE]start[/STRIKE] continue my studies [STRIKE]studying[/STRIKE], probably psychology or social work at the university in Estonia.

At the moment, I am [STRIKE]still[/STRIKE] living with my mother, two brothers and two sisters. My other four brothers and two elder sisters, who are already living in their own flat, are part of my life too. My family is a big part of my life and they are supporting me with my plans to stay abroad and help me if I ask them for advice.

My hobbies are especially playing basketball or volleyball, listening to music, taking photographs and doing other sports. In winter also I enjoy skiing or skating and meetng friends. I also like travelling a lot, because I'm very interested in other cultures and countries. I am convinced that all countries have something unique and I want to discover the uniqueness of the country – in this case, Germany[STRIKE]`s[/STRIKE].

There are [STRIKE]lots of [/STRIKE] many things [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] that motivate[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] me to participate at the EVS . First of all, I want to get to know a new country and culture. Moreover I want to gain experience for my [STRIKE]further life[/STRIKE] future. I always wanted to engage in social pursuits. I also enjoy doing voluntary work because I want to make myself useful in the world and help others in need.
I will gain confidence and become more self-sufficient as I will live away from home. Nevertheless, I look forward to a new adventure and I am open[STRIKE]d[/STRIKE] for every new experience.

I think I will be able to [STRIKE]get a part of this [/STRIKE] adjust to this project easily and I will be able to work in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a team with everybody without problems. I am already excited about what will await [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] me abroad. But I am sure that I will meet new and great people, [STRIKE]who will get good friends. :) [/STRIKE] I am really looking forward to hearing from you!

With kind regards,
Marjanne Priidik




Maybe you can give me some advice about how to formalize that motivation letter better. :)) Or something else..

Some suggestions including some advice: Please don't begin any future requests with "Hey!".
 

-AngerWing-

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Estonian
Home Country
Estonia
Current Location
Estonia
Thank U so much. :))
 
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