Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. vectra's Avatar
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Ukraine
      • Current Location:
      • Ukraine

    • Join Date: Jun 2005
    • Posts: 288

    changed to the content of a glog


    One of my students created a glog, as part of her homework assignment, covering the 1929 Wall Street Crash.
    WallStreetCrash1929: text, images, music, video | Glogster EDU - 21st century multimedia tool for educators, teachers and students
    I made my corrections in the text of the glog for the student to incorporate them later on, but I am not sure as the text is all about finances.

    Here is the text with corrections:
    The consequence of the Stock Market Crash of 29 October, 1929, was the 12-year Great Depression, which didn't end until the beginning of World War II.
    After the World War I the American economy rapidly expanded. There was a growing tendency of acquiring small companies by bigger ones. The financial groups of Rockfeller, Morgan, Dupont, Mellon and other big corporations controlled 50% of the national wealth of the USA. Therefore, the result was a huge stratification of the American society. 0.1% of the richest people of the USA had got 34% of all savings, but 80% of people didn't have any. In order to stimulate customer demand, companies started to lavishly provide consumer loans. The Federal Reserve System of the USA increased amount of currency issue, but instead of being invested in the industry, it was invested in the share market. During the 1924-1929 stock market boom, the Dow Jones Industrial increased fourfold in value. A lot of people thought that buying shares was a great chance to become richer, so many of them bought stocks on margin. A lot of shares didn't have real value. That's why a speculative boom preceded the collapse of the financial system.
    Nevertheless quotations on the stock market rose to 381,17 points, but two days later they began falling. Periods of selling and high value of shares were interspersed with their decrease. During the month they had lost 17 % of their value. On "Black Thursday", October 21, 1929, share prices on the New York Stock Exchange fell. Gossips were spread that bankrupt investors had committed suicides. Gossips were wrong, but they spread panic. Bankers announced that they would buy shares of the US Steel and other big corporations. Panic ceased. But on October 28, "Black Monday", more investors decided to sell their shares, so this day made history by the record 13% loss on the Dow. The next day, "Black Tuesday", about 16 million shares were sold. The market had lost over $25 billion. In July1932 the Dow ended the day at 41.22 - its all-time low. A lot of people lost their money and work. It was the beginning of the Great Depression.
    Does the text make sense?

    Thank you for your time and help.

  2. VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,423

    Re: changed to the content of a glog

    That's why a speculative boom preceded the collapse of the financial system.
    What's why? The preceding sentence is "A lot of shares didn't have real value." Is that why a boom precedes a collapse?

    "Gossip" is not countable. You don't leave a space between a number and the "%" sign.

    There is no article used with "World War I."

    That's just a few things I noticed right away.

Similar Threads

  1. [Grammar] How have I changed
    By suprunp in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-Jan-2012, 10:16
  2. he has changed or he changed?
    By turkyash in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 15-Nov-2011, 11:59
  3. Is changed or Has changed?
    By Dolbo in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 23-Feb-2011, 11:36
  4. has changed VS has been changed
    By Suthipong in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 31-Dec-2010, 06:14
  5. have changed or have been changed
    By san2612 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 23-Nov-2009, 20:37


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts