Can you tell me whether this sentence is correct? Thanks.

[heyuting]

Can you tell me whether this sentence is correct?

I appreciate it.

"30 years ago, China had experienced the Culture Revolution. It led to a disaster; most youths were forced to transfer from urban cities to rural areas in order to cultivate land. Thus, they abandoned study and became illiterate.
"

 

[Raymott]

Can you tell me whether this sentence is correct?

I appreciate it.

"Thirty years ago, China [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] experienced the Culture Revolution. It led to a disaster; most youths were forced to transfer from urban cities to rural areas in order to cultivate land. Thus, they abandoned study and became illiterate."
"

There's no need for the past perfect in the first sentence. If you begin a sentence with a number, spell it out.
"It led to a disaster ..." I'd say it was a disaster.

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Good morning, Heyuting:

May I most respectfully let you know that here in the United States, the English translation is "the Cultural Revolution."

I believe that a "culture revolution" may be interpreted differently. For example, the introduction of the cellular telephone

can be said to have caused a revolution in the culture of all countries. The Cultural Revolution in the People's Republic of China

was, of course, a far different matter.

*****

May I also most respectfully make a few other comments?

(a) I think that some strict teachers suggest that you write out the number if it is the first word. Thus, "Thirty years ago, ...."

(b) I think that it might be helpful to use a colon in "It led to a disaster: most youths ...."

(c) I feel that your last sentence needs reworking. That is, you

write that they abandoned their studies and became illiterate. But they could not have been studying if they had been

illiterate (unable to read and write).

(i) May I suggest something like:

It led to a disaster: most youths had to abandon their studies when they were forced to transfer from cities to rural areas in

order to cultivate the land. (P.S. It is not necessary to say "urban cities," because "urban" already refers to "cities.")

Have a nice day!

 

[heyuting]

Wow, that's great. Thank you. Your suggestions are helpful.

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Good morning, Heyuting:

May I most respectfully let you know that here in the United States, the English translation is "the Cultural Revolution."

I believe that a "culture revolution" may be interpreted differently. For example, the introduction of the cellular telephone

can be said to have caused a revolution in the culture of all countries. The Cultural Revolution in the People's Republic of China

was, of course, a far different matter.

*****

May I also most respectfully make a few other comments?

(a) I think that some strict teachers suggest that you write out the number if it is the first word. Thus, "Thirty years ago, ...."

(b) I think that it might be helpful to use a colon in "It led to a disaster: most youths ...."

(c) I feel that your last sentence needs reworking. That is, you

write that they abandoned their studies and became illiterate. But they could not have been studying if they had been

illiterate (unable to read and write).

(i) May I suggest something like:

It led to a disaster: most youths had to abandon their studies when they were forced to transfer from cities to rural areas in

order to cultivate the land. (P.S. It is not necessary to say "urban cities," because "urban" already refers to "cities.")

Have a nice day!