Madam missus

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sebayanpendam

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Hi
Is true that calling a married woman, madam is considered impudent? I was told by a friend of mine. If so, how should address a married woman, besides mrs?
Thanks.
 

bhaisahab

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Hi
Is true that calling a married woman, madam is considered impudent? I was told by a friend of mine. If so, how should address a married woman, besides mrs?
Thanks.
No, it's not impudent.
 

Rover_KE

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In North America, where I have spent two years in the last six, mature women are addressed as ma'am (pronounced 'mam').

I call them that here in the UK. None of them seem to mind.

Rover
 

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No, it's not impudent.
I think the OP's friend may have been thinking of the expression 'a madam'. I wouldn't call it 'impudent' but it's not polite.

If it refers to a mature woman, 'a madam' is someone who manages prostitutes.

If it refers to a young girl it means that she is bossy - 'She's a bit of a madam.'

b
 

emsr2d2

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Hi
Is true that calling a married woman, madam is considered impudent? I was told by a friend of mine. If so, how should address a married woman, besides mrs?
Thanks.

Don't forget that you would only be able to address a woman as "Mrs" if you a) know that she is married and b) know her surname. Then you could say "Hello, Mrs Jones".
The point of "Madam" is that it can/could be used to address any woman, regardless of age or marital status and even if you don't know her name at all. You would never say "Hello, missus" on its own to someone you don't know. We do use it, but we use it to people we know and in a jocular fashion.

In some places, a woman might be addressed as "Madam" by staff. A waiter at a restaurant might say "Let me show you to your table, Madam" or "Can I take your order now, Madam?"
A member of check-in staff at an airline desk might say "Hello Madam" as a woman approaches the desk and "Thank you Madam. Have a good flight" as the woman walks away.

My entirely personal opinion is that I dislike it. I do not wish to be addressed as "Madam" in any situation. I see no need for any kind of address by someone I don't know. I am quite happy for my waiter or check-in attendant to say "Hi" or "Hello" or "Good evening" and leave it at that. However, I'm well aware that some people would consider that rude.
 

Tdol

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I do use Sir and Madam for strangers- there may be no need for it, but at least it is showing a desire to be polite.
 

emsr2d2

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I do use Sir and Madam for strangers- there may be no need for it, but at least it is showing a desire to be polite.

I get your point but that only works if you feel that not using it is impolite, which I don't. I find "Good morning/afternoon/evening" etc perfectly polite on its own.
 

5jj

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I get your point but that only works if you feel that not using it is impolite, which I don't. I find "Good morning/afternoon/evening" etc perfectly polite on its own.
I'm with you on that.
 

Rover_KE

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I get your point but that only works if you feel that not using it is impolite, which I don't. I find "Good morning/afternoon/evening" etc perfectly polite on its own.

If you went to America, ems, you'd be addressed as ma'am all the time. How would you feel about that?

Rover
 

billmcd

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Well, if I were emsr2d2 and male, I would be deeply offended. :shock:
 

Barb_D

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But she's not.

The advantage to having been an officer in the US Armed Forces just before my 22nd birthday is that I do NOT associate "ma'am" with "lady of a certain age."
 

5jj

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If you went to America, ems, you'd be addressed as ma'am all the time. How would you feel about that?
Your question was addressed to ems, but I am butting in.

On my first visit to America a couple of years ago, one of the things that really jarred with me was the way people 'sirred' me. I know it was done with the politest of intentions, but it made me feel uncomfortable - and/or old.

As a pupil in the 1950s and 1960s I 'sirred' my schoolmasters. When I wore a uniform, I 'sirred' my superior officers and required a 'sir' from my subordinates. When I began teaching, I expected a 'sir' from my pupils.

But that was many years ago. Note that in all the situations I have mentioned above, one person has in some way been superior to another. British English has never had the 'monsieur (French), mein Herr (German), pani (Czech)' form of 'sir' for addressing equals. Part of me regrets this, but that does not mean that I like being 'sirred'.
 

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Your first "sir" is one of those unwanted milestones, like your first grey hair.
 

emsr2d2

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If you went to America, ems, you'd be addressed as ma'am all the time. How would you feel about that?

Rover
I've been to America several times and was regularly addressed as ma'am. I was absolutely fine with that, not least because I always welcome local tradition in any country I visit. I didn't say that I found the use of ma'am or madam impolite. I said that their non-use was not impolite.
 

Tdol

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I get your point but that only works if you feel that not using it is impolite, which I don't. I find "Good morning/afternoon/evening" etc perfectly polite on its own.

I don't see them as impolite in any way. It's just a matter of choice IMO.
 

emsr2d2

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I don't see them as impolite in any way. It's just a matter of choice IMO.

As I said above, I don't find their use impolite. I simply don't find their non-use impolite.
 

BobK

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... British English has never had the 'monsieur (French), mein Herr (German), pani (Czech)' form of 'sir' for addressing equals. Part of me regrets this, but that does not mean that I like being 'sirred'.
I agree with Comrade Jed. ;-)
 

Barb_D

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I prefer "ma'am" from a stranger over "dear" or "dears" any day... unless it's a sweet little old lady. Then "dear" is okay.
 

billmcd

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5jj: What would you prefer?
 

5jj

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5jj: What would you prefer?
I prefer nothing at all.

When I am in a country where there is a 'sir' word for equals, then I accept, and use, it*. As a speaker of BrE, it is natural for me not to be used to being addressed as 'sir', and not to use that form of address myself.

*The exception to this was the United States. Although I accept intellectually that 'sir' is a natural and polite form of address there, I still feel uncomfortable because the language is English and the word is 'sir'
 
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