Results 1 to 6 of 6
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Mar 2012
    • Posts: 82
    #1

    Thumbs up Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    If you purchase a electric vehicle, for example, BYD, a car brand in my country, you have to spend more than sixty thousand RMB than the counterpart but using fossil fuel energy. If people person earn 5000 RMB monthly, it will take them one year to make sixty thousand RMB without spending it in other places. They will think definitely twice when they buy a electric vehicle.

    Thank you. I have changed the sentences following your suggestion.
    Last edited by heyuting; 14-Apr-2012 at 13:01.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 6,332
    #2

    Re: Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    ***** NOT A TEACHER*****


    Hello, Heyuting:

    (1) A teacher will be with you shortly (soon).

    (2) May I just most respectfully and gently make a few points:

    (a) If you are writing a "formal" passage, then I should suggest that "for example" would be more appropriate than "let's say."

    (b) And "He/she" is rather awkward (and quite ugly-looking, IMHO) in a formal statement. You might consider another way of expressing this. For example,

    you could change "a person" to "people." Then you could use "they" in later references.

    HAVE A NICE DAY!

  1. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,134
    #3

    Re: Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by heyuting View Post
    If you purchase an electric vehicle, for example, a BYD, a car brand in my country, you have to spend more than sixty thousand RMB more than you would spend/have spent on the fossil-fuel using the counterpart but using fossil fuel energy. If people person earn 5000 RMB monthly a month, it will take them one year to make sixty thousand RMB without spending it in other places. They will think definitely twice when they buy a electric vehicle.
    5

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,838
    #4

    Re: Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by heyuting View Post
    They will think definitely twice when they buy a electric vehicle.
    I would change the word order in your final sentence to "They will definitely think twice ..." and I would also change the end of that sentence to "... before buying an electric vehicle".

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Mar 2012
    • Posts: 82
    #5

    Re: Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    Thank you. But I am a little confused about this sentence "you have to spend more than sixty thousand RMB more than you would spend/have spent on the fossil-fuel using counterpart"
    Is it okay to use "more than" twice? Or can I express in a another way? Thank you.
    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    5

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,838
    #6

    Re: Help me correct these three sentences? Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by heyuting View Post
    Thank you. But I am a little confused about this sentence "you have to spend more than sixty thousand RMB more than you would spend/have spent on the fossil-fuel using counterpart"
    Is it okay to use "more than" twice? Or can I express in a another way? Thank you.
    You could use "... you have to spend over sixty thousand RMB more than you would have spent on ..."

Similar Threads

  1. Can somebody help me correct these sentences?
    By scott833 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13-Apr-2010, 16:21
  2. [Grammar] Are these sentences correct?
    By anupumh in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 14-Oct-2009, 15:59
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Jun-2009, 03:06
  4. please correct my sentences
    By datgrldayday in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 14-Nov-2008, 05:47
  5. Correct English-urgent request to correct sentences
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 28-Nov-2006, 19:25

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •