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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
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      • China
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      • China

    • Join Date: Mar 2012
    • Posts: 82
    #1

    Cool Would you mind helping me to check out these three sentences? Thank you.

    Two years ago, I moved to Guangzhou city in the hope of finding a good job while my intimate friend, Michael, who chose to stay in the hometown. But we still keep in touch with each other. Last week, I commented on his message on Facebook because he was planning to hold an annual reunion of all friends on the national holiday.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
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    #2

    Re: Would you mind helping me to check out these three sentences? Thank you.

    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****


    My respectful suggestions:

    (1) Just refer to Guangzhou. It sounds strange in English to say, for example, I visited "London city."

    (2) I think that it would be a good idea to avoid the term "intimate friend." That could have many meanings. Do you wish to say that

    Michael is your No. 1 friend? Then it might be helpful to say:

    ... while my best friend, Michael, chose to stay in our hometown. (No "who," please)

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Would you mind helping me to check out these three sentences? Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by heyuting View Post
    Two years ago, I moved to Guangzhou city in the hope of finding a good job while my intimate close friend, Michael, who chose to stay in the our hometown. But We still keep in touch with each other. Last week, I commented on his message on Facebook because he was planning to hold an annual reunion of all his friends on the national holiday.
    See above.

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