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    #1

    Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?


    The existence of the hormone lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich, the result of
    which is that TAG doubles in blood .


    Of course, the second which above refers to The existence of the hormone lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich. I'm not sure whether the usage of two whichs would make native English speakers understand it at the first sight.

    And even if they get it crystal clear, using two whichs in a row would be somewhat boring. But how to edit and improve it?

  1. 5jj's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

    I'd be more concerned about the meaning of "TAG doubles in blood".

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post

    ... lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich ...
    Does the first part, which I have left above, mean "... lowers the metabolism of TAG, which is rich in Y acid"?
    By that I mean "Is there a lot of Y acid in TAG?"

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    #4

    Re: Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Does the first part, which I have left above, mean "... lowers the metabolism of TAG, which is rich in Y acid"?
    By that I mean "Is there a lot of Y acid in TAG?"
    "There is a lot of Y acid in TAG" is correct. "In which", not "which".

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    #5

    Re: Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    I'd be more concerned about the meaning of "TAG doubles in blood".
    It refers to "the amount of TAG in blood is doubled in blood."

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    #6

    Re: Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    It refers to "the amount of TAG in blood is doubled in blood."
    Then it would be clearer as "the amount of TAG in (the) blood doubles". Whether or not 'the' is necessary depends on what has gone before, and on whether a specific amount of blood is being referred to.

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