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    #1

    Which version is better?

    Hi there :]

    I have two versions of three sentences and I have no idea, which sounds better for a native speaker. Would someone be so kind and tell me? :) Thanks in advance. Here are the sentences (each of them is uttered by a very old man from the Middle Ages):

    1)
    - Alas, the only area in the vicinity, where these herbaceous plants grows, are the ruinsin the forest.
    - Alas, the only place around this area where these herbaceous plants grows are the ruins in the forest.

    2)

    - I won’t give her a chance to improve unless I save her now.
    - I won’t give her a chance to make amends, unless I save her now.

    3)
    - And what do you want me to bring from thence?
    - And what do you want me to bring thence?

    Last edited by Flubber; 29-Apr-2012 at 11:50.

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    #2

    Re: Which version is better?

    No idea?

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    #3

    Re: Which version is better?

    Really? :(

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Which version is better?

    Please be patient. By asking again so soon after posting, many people may have seen that there was a response and moved on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flubber View Post
    Hi there :]

    I have two versions of three sentences and I have no idea, which sounds better for a native speaker. Would someone be so kind and tell me? :) Thanks in advance. Here are the sentences (each of them is uttered by a very old man from the Middle Ages):

    1)
    - Alas, the only area in the vicinity, where these herbaceous plants grows, are the ruinsin the forest.
    - Alas, the only place around this area where these herbaceous plants grows are the ruins in the forest.
    I prefer: - Alas, the only place around here where these plants grow is amidst the ruins in the forest

    2)

    - I won’t give her a chance to improve unless I save her now.
    - I won’t give her a chance to make amends, unless I save her now.
    I don't understand what you are trying to say. Something like "Unless I save her now, she will not have an opportunity to make amends"?

    3)
    - And what do you want me to bring from thence?
    - And what do you want me to bring thence?
    Just use "there" isntead of "thence."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #5

    Re: Which version is better?

    Thank you :]
    As far as the second sentence is concerned...
    Two guys are talking about a dying girl. The old man has two ways out: he can rescue her, thereby giving her a chance for redeeming herself, or just leave her to her own fate. So maybe:

    I won’t give her a chance to redeem herself, unless I save her now.

    ??

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Which version is better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flubber View Post
    I won’t give her a chance to redeem herself, unless I save her now.
    It sounds very strange. The thought might be less unnatural as: She won't have a chance to redeem herself unless I save her.

    I find it odd that anyone should be think such thoughts when it's a question of saving a dying girl's life.

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    #7

    Re: Which version is better?

    Thanks!

    PS: I forgot to tell you that she's a murderer :] A cutthroat, who has attacked the hamlet.

  3. 5jj's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Which version is better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flubber View Post
    Thanks!

    PS: I forgot to tell you that she's a murderer :] A cutthroat, who has attacked the hamlet.
    Well, your 'forgetting' to give us valuable context was probably one reason your thread attracted few responses. It's difficult to correct a sentence that seems strange.

    Another reason was that you asked three different questions. We we ask people to post only one question in a thread, to avoid confusion if different people start responding to different questions.

    One final reason is your early bumping of your post. As Barb explained, some people might have assumed your question had been answered - I usually give priority to threads with 0 responses.

    And, on a personal level, the people who respond to questions are volunteers, who do this in their spare time. Some of us (including me ) don't react too positively when people become impatient if we haven't responded to a question after just two hours. We do like to eat, sleep and earn a living at times. Most questions in the 'Ask a Teacher' forum are answered promptly if we happen to be online, and few have to wait more than four hours or so. If you haven't received a response within 24 hours, then it's fine to bump your post - it may have got overlooked.

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    #9

    Re: Which version is better?

    I'm sorry... I won't repeat my mistake.

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