can somebody please check my essay

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swatisooti

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can anybody pleplease check my essay and give band score acc to ielts standards

(Topic 2)days the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the tyoes of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or a negative developement.



Answer
In this new era of science and technology , life has become very fast paced and has changed a lot since the times of our chilhood.


With the advent of technology in nearly every sphere of life, even mass media and other ways of communication have become faster. Now people just need to dial a few no with there finger tips to talk to there near and dear ones,
no matter what the distance is. For instance, Sitting at home a person can chat and see what his relatives are doing overseas.This is all due to advanced technology using internets and mobile phones. Now a person can keep a track
of each and every news of his familyas well as the world. The distances between people now dont matter, as they did in the olden days , when people waited long before recieving any news of their near and dear one by telegrams, letters etc.
Thus, technology has definately improved the ways in which people can interact witheach other be it friends or relatives and helped them to be in constant touch via mobiles ,internet chatting sites, social networking sites. Even yhe letter
. posts delivery time has shortened so important news or documents now reach people much more earlier and safely.


Although ,technology has brought about great help in bringing people closer, but now people have become so much dependant on it that life seems handicapped if the facilities are not available even for brief period of time. Apart from this
due to television, internet and various other means of mass communication , people give up much of their time in entertainment provided by these medias and thus get less time for their friends and relatives. Their lives have
become too hectic to even find out time for ones own family. This in a way or another increasing the gaps among people.


So, in nutshell I would like to say that tecnology has definately changed our lifestyles much more easier , advanced, and time saving ,but only till the time we use the facilities for the purpose of entertainment only and that too in limits ,
not forgeting our responsibilities and relationship with our family ,friends and near and dear ones.
 

februar

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Can anybody [STRIKE]ple[/STRIKE]please check my essay and give band score acc to ielts IELTS standards

(Topic 2) days the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or a negative development?




Answer
In this new era of science and technology, life has become very fast paced and has changed a lot since the times of our childhood.


With the advent of new technology in nearly every sphere of life, even mass media and other ways of communication have become faster. Now people just need to dial a few [STRIKE]no[/STRIKE] numbers with [STRIKE]there[/STRIKE] their fingertips to talk to their near and dear ones, no matter what the distance is. For instance, sitting at home a person can chat and see what his relatives are doing overseas. This is all due to advanced technology using internets and mobile phones.
Now a person can keep a track of each and every news of his family as well as the world. The distances between people now dont matter, as they did in the olden days, when people waited long before [STRIKE]recieving[/STRIKE] receiving any news of their near and dear one by telegrams, letters etc.
Thus, technology has [STRIKE]definately[/STRIKE] definitely improved the ways in which people can interact with each other, be it with friends or relatives and helped them to be in constant touch via mobiles, internet chatting sites, or social networking sites. Even [STRIKE]yhe[/STRIKE] the letter posts delivery time has shortened so important news or documents now reach people much [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] earlier and safely (safer).


Although (no comma) technology has brought about great help in bringing people closer, [STRIKE]but [/STRIKE]now people have become so much [STRIKE]dependant[/STRIKE] dependent on it that life seems handicapped if the facilities are not available even for a brief period of time a short time. Apart from this due to television, internet and various other means of mass communication, people give up much of their time in entertainment provided by these [STRIKE]medias[/STRIKE] media and thus get less time for their friends and relatives. Their lives have become too hectic [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] so that they not even find [STRIKE]out[/STRIKE] time for [STRIKE]ones[/STRIKE] their own family. This in a way or another is increasing the gaps among people.


So, in nutshell I would like to say that technology has [STRIKE]definately[/STRIKE] definitely changed our [STRIKE]lifestyles[/STRIKE] lifestyle as life has become much [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] easier, advanced, and time saving. [STRIKE]but only till the time[/STRIKE] This, however, will only be to our advantage, if we keep using the facilities for the purpose of entertainment [STRIKE]only and that too in[/STRIKE] within limits, [STRIKE]not forgeting forgetting[/STRIKE] in order to have enough time available for our responsibilities and relationship with our family, friends and near and dear ones.

februar, no teacher
 
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