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Thread: Paper check

    • Join Date: Dec 2005
    • Posts: 7

    Paper check

    Please help me check for grammarical errors in my writing. I am in the progess of learning english. Thank you.

    The Opera singing by Khori was nothing short of spectacular, because she hits all of the notes with the right amount of high pitch and low pitch. In addition, the “childish” themes of these songs serve as a comical relief throughout the performances. The French language used in the Opera, made it hard to comprehend the story of the songs.
    The combination of Khori’s deep tone along with the musical piano in the background helps to recreate a very pleasant theatrical experience in “La Courte Paille”. Her voice alternates between low pitch and loud pitch that. Eventually, these alternations began to build up faster and faster to a point where the loud and low pitches were next to each other. These variations of pitches build up suspense as it reaches the climax of alternation. Hence, at the peak of alternation, it was hard to tell when the singing will begin or end.
    The various children songs used in Khori singing such as “I Hate Music” serves as a comical relief. This song in particular is effective in portraying the silliness of children by using contradicting lines. For example, “I hate music, but I like to sing”. Other songs like “I’m a person too!” poke fun at the way children think about their friends. These songs express children’ perception of the world with lines likes “I don’t want to wakeup”. In addition, Khori’s hand movement and facial expression helps to conceive a childish mood to these opera. In one scene of “Stella’s Aria from A Streetcar Named Desire”, Khori places her hand on her hips and made an angry look of a child to help convey the mood of the music.
    Cory singing in a foreign language makes it hard to understand the message of the song. However, it is a small drawback since Khori’s facial expression gave clues to the mood of the song. For example, in “La Courte PAILLE”, Cory’s hand and facial movement shows an impatient child waiting for adventure.

  1. Editor,
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
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      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 60,656

    Re: Paper check

    she hits- shouldn't this be past tense as you started in the past?
    as a comical relief- as comic relief
    low pitch and loud pitch that- that what? Unfinished
    These variations of pitches build up suspense as it reaches the climax of alternation.- you're jumping from the past to the present throughout this- I'd stick to one
    children songs- children's
    children’ perception - children's
    to these opera- this
    to help convey- help convey

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