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  1. vectra's Avatar
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    #1

    investment plan

    Hello,

    These are the sentences from a student's homework assignment with my corrections:

    'The Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan:
    1. First of all, we should set up a factory in the US. The US is one of the most profitable and desired markets. It will provide us with a huge cash flow and new clients and help generate considerable cash flow This will give us a enormous and profit in manufacturing chocolates in a major new market.'
    Do the corrections make sense?

    Thank you in advance.
    Last edited by vectra; 26-May-2012 at 20:45. Reason: second thoughts

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    #2

    Re: investment plan

    Quote Originally Posted by vectra View Post
    Hello,

    These are the sentences from a student's homework assignment with my corrections:

    'The Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan:
    1. First of all, we should set up a factory in the US. The US is one of the most profitable and desired markets. It will provide us with a huge cash flow and new clients and help generate considerable cash flow This will give us a enormous and profit in manufacturing chocolates in a major new market.'
    Do the corrections make sense?

    Thank you in advance.
    Actually, I don't find anything seriously wrong with your student's assignment, but neither do I see anything wrong with your changes. I would, however insert "upon" after "agreed" in the opening statement. I would also suggest that you explain to the student the reasons for your changes.


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