investment plan

[vectra]

Hello,

These are the sentences from a student's homework assignment with my corrections:

'The Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan:
1. First of all, we should set up a factory in the US. The US is one of the most profitable [STRIKE]and desired[/STRIKE] markets. It will provide us with [STRIKE]a huge cash flow and[/STRIKE] new clients and help generate considerable cash flow [STRIKE]This will give us a enormous[/STRIKE] and profit in manufacturing chocolates in a major new market.'
Do the corrections make sense?

Thank you in advance.

 

[billmcd]

Hello,

These are the sentences from a student's homework assignment with my corrections:

'The Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan:
1. First of all, we should set up a factory in the US. The US is one of the most profitable [STRIKE]and desired[/STRIKE] markets. It will provide us with [STRIKE]a huge cash flow and[/STRIKE] new clients and help generate considerable cash flow [STRIKE]This will give us a enormous[/STRIKE] and profit in manufacturing chocolates in a major new market.'
Do the corrections make sense?

Thank you in advance.

Actually, I don't find anything seriously wrong with your student's assignment, but neither do I see anything wrong with your changes. I would, however insert "upon" after "agreed" in the opening statement. I would also suggest that you explain to the student the reasons for your changes.