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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    Please help e to improve upon it?

    I have written a basic idea but i want to improve it vocabulary wise, it should sound advanced level english

    My parents always gave me the best…from the best school to best toys and more…but still felt everything was so boring… Second Home…. Luxury you can choose to create a comfort zone of your own!

    Being an independent woman, I achieved beyond expectations. Yet, life was a routine. Not much of a choice, it was all between home, work, family, etc…
    Second Home…Luxury you can choose as your companion to share your achievements!

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,215
    #2

    Re: Please help e to improve upon it?

    I am completely confused about how the second part a out the luxury home ties to the first.

    Please don't use ellipses as a substitute for full stops.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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