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    #1

    Red face are these sentences ok?

    Hi,I'd like to know from native speakers if the following sentences are ok.
    Thanks,
    Rip

    1) I'm feeling you
    2) I'm getting on fire ( I mean my passion is lighting up)
    3) It's just us, me and you ( I mean there is only us)
    4) You give me strength and that(I mean the strength)'s what makes me stand up everyday
    5) You give me strength and that(I mean the strength)'s it that makes me stand up everyday
    6) I was born to live you and have you
    7) You give me the shivers (I mean you thrill me), which I like so much
    8) I'll try to express and let you understand/know my emotions
    9) I want to transmit my emotions
    10) make me smile as you have always been able to do

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by ripley View Post
    Hi,I'd like to know from native speakers if the following sentences are ok.
    Thanks,
    Rip

    1) I'm feeling you -- This sounds like "hippie" speak to mean "I understand what you're saying and what you're feeling.
    2) I'm getting on fire ( I mean my passion is lighting up) -- No. "I'm on fire" is okay.
    3) It's just us, me and you ( I mean there is only us) -- Okay.
    4) You give me strength and that(I mean the strength)'s what makes me stand up everyday. --"every day" is two words and I don't think "stand up" is what you mean. "You give me the strenght to get through the day" or something like that, perhaps. But it makes it sound like your life is horrible and he/she is the only bright spot in it.
    5) You give me strength and that(I mean the strength)'s it that makes me stand up everyday -- Did you mess up your word order here? This makes no sense.
    6) I was born to live you and have you. -- Did you mean "love" instead of "live"? Even so, it sounds like a stalker and I'd run away with the "have you" part.
    7) You give me the shivers (I mean you thrill me), which I like so much. -- The first part is okay. The second part is goofy.
    8) I'll try to express and let you understand/know my emotions. -- I'll try to express my emotions.
    9) I want to transmit my emotions. -- No. You sound like you're on a science fiction show.
    10) make me smile as you have always been able to do. -- Something is missing from this one, I think?
    .
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    Did you mean 'get up' in #4 and #5?

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    #4

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    Hi 5jj, I meant stand up, that is what gives me the strenth to face life and its vhallenges everyday. is that ok?
    Thanks Rip

  3. 5jj's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    It's OK. I just thought 'get up' (get out of bed to start the day) might be more like what you wanted to say than 'stand up' (move to/be in a standing position).

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    #6

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    Hi 5jj,
    I have just read your comments; they are really nice and fun.
    the problem is that I don't know how to render the idea;how can I say instead of "I'm feeling you" in 1);in 2) I would like to convey the idea that my passion is growing little by little; if I say I'm on fire, wouldn't it mean that my passion is there and that there's no process in progress?; how can I improve 7) and make it smart? I'd like to give the idea that I like the shivers.; as far as 9) I have left out "broadcast", but if I'm still on a science fiction show I didn't make a good choice anyway; should I use "convey"?; and finally,ehat is missing in 10)? I'm inviting to make me laugh and saying the you are the one who knows what to do to make me laugh. If that's not clear, how can I modify the sentence? Thanks a lot.
    Rip

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    #7

    Re: are these sentences ok?

    Hi, the whole text is this:
    Here I am, I feel you, my passion is starting out. Talk to me, I was born to live, to have you now. There’s only us, me and you.
    Now please have me as you have always done; give me those shivers I like and need so much.
    You are the drug I have always wanted.
    You stay there in front of me; look at me and listen to me. I’m here to make you feel and let you know my emotions.
    I’m here for you. It's you who give me the strength to stand up every day, to be really what I am.

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