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    Smile even now it's hard to walk away...

    Hello. Could you please tell me what the underlined sentence means in this context?
    I don't quite understand the part, 'it's hard to walk away.'
    Please help. Thank you.

    The bus is coming down the hill. I grab Mina's hand and start to run.
    I make a bet - if we get to the stop before the bus, then everything will be OK.
    Even now it's hard to walk away, but every time I come home and Mum's still there, it gets easier.
    At least she's trying. Staying sober: one day at a time.
    That's how we live.
    (The speaker's mum is an alcoholic and once she didn't come back from work one evening.
    So the speaker had had a hard time.)

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: even now it's hard to walk away...

    I think it means that in the past, when the speaker left her mum's house, she found it very difficult to do so because she was afraid that when she went back, her mum would be gone (not sure if that was because her mum might have left or might have died from alcoholism though I think the former).

    Even now (that she knows her mum is recovering from alcoholism), she finds it difficult to leave the house because she is worried about what might happen while she is away, but that difficulty becomes less and less every time she arrives at her mum's house and her mum is still there.

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