Could you please correct these recommendations for an eye clinic?

[learning54]

Hi teachers,
Could you please correct these recommendations for an eye clinic?

a) Place the eye protector to sleep during 15 days from the surgery date.
b) Rest, move slowly and avoid violent exercices.
c) Don’t stay for a long time reading or doing activties that need visual effort. You can watch TV or cinema moderately.
d) Avoid rubbing your eyes strongly.
e) Take care while doing your diary higienic (hear washing, shaving, ...).
f) Clean your eyes everyday whith the prescribed drops.
g) Keep on doing the indicated medication and don’t modify it without the aprovation of a especialist.
h) If you feel an acude decrease on the vision, if you see a black spot or little lights and if you feel intense pain in the intervened eye, go quickly to the especialist or contact with the clinic.

Thanks in advance.

 

[learning54]

Re: Could you please correct these recomendations for an eye clinic?

Could a teacher help me please?

 

[emsr2d2]

Re: Could you please correct these recomendations for an eye clinic?

L54, did you really write these yourself? In my opinion, your English is far better than this. There are multiple errors in spelling, grammar etc which I don't associate with your use of English (especially given that you are an English teacher). If they were written by one of your students, then I truly think you should try to correct them yourself first.

 

[learning54]

Re: Could you please correct these recomendations for an eye clinic?

Hi,
No I didn't write them at all. A nurse from the clinic did it. I don't even know her. One of my students ask me to do it as a favour. The thing is since the vocabulary should be rather professional, I prefer to have your help or I'm sure I'll put my foot in it.

L.

 

[learning54]

Re: Could you please correct these recomendations for an eye clinic?

L54, did you really write these yourself? In my opinion, your English is far better than this. There are multiple errors in spelling, grammar etc which I don't associate with your use of English (especially given that you are an English teacher). If they were written by one of your students, then I truly think you should try to correct them yourself first.

I'll start like this:

Do’s after the operation

 

[emsr2d2]

Re: Could you please correct these recomendations for an eye clinic?

Hi,
No I didn't write them at all. A nurse from the clinic did it. I don't even know her. One of my students ask me to do it as a favour. The thing is since the vocabulary should be rather professional, I prefer to have your help or I'm sure I'll put my foot in it.

L.

With all due respect, I think you could certainly have a pretty good try at them first yourself. There are some clear mistakes in them which I am absolutely sure you have spotted already. Please post them again, along with your attempt at a correction, and then I'm sure we'll be happy to assist.

 

[learning54]

Hi,
I have corrected the spelling; is that so now? I have found, according to me, quite a few mistakes.
I posted it this morning without looking at it due to I was really in a hurry. I didn't look at it then and neither did I when I asked for help. I am truly sorry about it. I've learnt the lesson.

a) Place the eye protector to sleep during 15 days from the surgery date.
b) Rest, move slowly and avoid violent exercises.
c) Don’t stay for a long time reading or doing activities that need visual effort. You can watch TV [STRIKE]or cinema[/STRIKE] moderately.
d) ([STRIKE]Avoid rubbing your eyes strongly[/STRIKE].) Don't rub the eyes until the operation hs completely healed.
e) It's important to take care while doing your diary hygiene ([STRIKE]hear[/STRIKE] hair washing, shaving, etc.).
f) Clean your eyes everyday with the prescribed eye drops.
g) Don't change or discontinue medication without consulting your ([STRIKE]Keep on doing the indicated medication and don’t modify it without the approbation of a [/STRIKE]) specialist.
h) If you feel an acute decrease in ([STRIKE]on the[/STRIKE]) vision, if you see a black spot or little lights and if you feel intense pain in the surgery eye [STRIKE]intervened eye[/STRIKE], go quickly to the specialist or contact with the eye clinic.

 

[learning54]

Hi,
I guess it's done, according to my corrections. Could you please look at it now?

L.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi,
I have corrected the spelling; is that so now? I have found, according to me, quite a few mistakes.
I posted it this morning without looking at it due to I was really in a hurry. I didn't look at it then and neither did I when I asked for help. I am truly sorry about it. I've learnt the lesson.

a) Place the eye protector to sleep during 15 days from the surgery date.
Use the eye protector when sleeping for 15 days from the surgery date onwards.

b) Rest, move slowly and avoid violent exercises.
"strenuous", not "violent". "Exercise", not "exercises".

c) Don’t stay for a long time reading or doing activities that need visual effort. You can watch TV [STRIKE]or cinema[/STRIKE] moderately.
Don't do activities which strain your eyes for a long time. You can watch a moderate amount of TV.

d) ([STRIKE]Avoid rubbing your eyes strongly[/STRIKE].) Don't rub the eyes until the operation hs completely healed.
Don't rub your eyes until you have completely healed. (We don't say that "an operation heals".)

e) It's important to take care while doing your diary hygiene ([STRIKE]hear[/STRIKE] hair washing, shaving, ...).
I really want you to look at this one again. Are you sure you mean "diary"? Look up "hygiene" and see if you're sure it's appropriate.

f) Clean your eyes everyday with the prescribed eye drops.
"Every day" = two words.

g) Don't change or discontinue medication without consulting your [STRIKE]Keep on doing the indicated medication and don’t modify it without the approbation of a [/STRIKE] specialist.
I like your version.

h) If you feel an acute decrease in [STRIKE]on the[/STRIKE] vision, if you see a black spot or little lights and if you feel intense pain in the surgery eye [STRIKE]intervened eye[/STRIKE], go quickly to the specialist or contact with the eye clinic.
If you experience acute degeneration in your vision, if you see black spots or little lights, or if you feel severe pain in the eye which was operated on, go immediately to your specialist or contact your eye clinic/your optician.

See above.

 

[learning54]

e) It's important to take care while doing your diary hygiene (hear hair washing, shaving, ...).
I really want you to look at this one again. Are you sure you mean "diary"? Look up "hygiene" and see if you're sure it's appropriate.

Hi,
Thank YOU so much for your help and reply. I really appreciate it a lot.
It should be 'personal' instead of 'diary? Right?

Learning

 

[Rover_KE]

It should be daily instead of diary.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi,
Thank YOU so much for your help and reply. I really appreciate it a lot.
It should be 'personal' instead of 'diary? Right?

Learning

Well, I assume that the original intention was the word "daily" which mistakenly became "diary".

Aside from that, the main problem is that we don't refer to things like washing our hair and shaving by the collective term "hygiene". Many other languages do seem to use the equivalent of that word but it sounds very unnatural. The word "ablutions" can be used to refer to washing your face, brushing your teeth etc, but it's a word that sounds rather over-formal. I can't really think of an appropriate way of saying this other than "Take care while carrying out daily activities such as washing your hair, shaving etc."

 

[learning54]

Well, I assume that the original intention was the word "daily" which mistakenly became "diary".

Aside from that, the main problem is that we don't refer to things like washing our hair and shaving by the collective term "hygiene". Many other languages do seem to use the equivalent of that word but it sounds very unnatural. The word "ablutions" can be used to refer to washing your face, brushing your teeth etc, but it's a word that sounds rather over-formal. I can't really think of an appropriate way of saying this other than "Take care while carrying out daily activities such as washing your hair, shaving etc."

Hi,
Thank you so much for this correction too. Time to go to sleep.
;-)
L.