Jokes # 2

[Naeem PTC]

Hi teachers,


1) Girl: Can you drive with one hand?
Boy (with excitement): Yes of course,
Girl: Then wipe your nose with other hand.

2) Always keep your picture in your pocket. You know why?
Whenever you face problems, just see your picture & say 3 times. "If I can face this, I can face anything."

3) Sunny: (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Wicky: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

4) A little girl asked her father that all fairy tales begins with "once upon a time"?
The father replied, "No, some begins with - If I am elected."

I would like to ask if there's any grammar mistake like symbols?

Many thanks in advance.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi teachers,


1) Girl: Can you drive with one hand?
Boy (with excitement): Yes of course.
Girl: Then wipe your nose with other hand.

2) Always keep your picture in your pocket. You know why?
Whenever you face problems, just see your picture and say 3 times, "If I can face this, I can face anything."

3) Sunny (reading from a book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Wicky: "Why don't you use [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] mouthwash?"

4) A little girl asked her father [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE]if all fairy tales [STRIKE]begins[/STRIKE] begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, "No, some [STRIKE]begins[/STRIKE] begin with "If I am elected"."

I would like to ask if [STRIKE]there's[/STRIKE] there are any grammar mistakes, like symbols?

Many thanks in advance.

See above for my amendments. What do you mean when you say "grammar mistakes, like symbols"? Do you mean the punctuation?

 

[david11]

4) A little girl asked her father that all fairy tales begins with "once upon a time"?
The father replied, "No, some begins with - If I am elected."

I

Shouldn't the word that be replaced with why in the context of the given answer?

 

[david11]

Hi teachers,



2) Always keep your picture in your pocket. You know why?
Whenever you face problems, just see your picture & say 3 times. "If I can face this, I can face anything."

.

This is really a good one and I am going to use this with my friends.

 

[tzfujimino]

Shouldn't the word that be replaced with why in the context of the given answer?

Hello, david.:-D
Well, I don't quite agree with you on that point.
The father says, "No,....."
If the girl asked why, then the father would probably reply, "Because..." or something similar.

What do you think?

 

[david11]

The father says, "No,....."
If the girl asked why, then the father would probably reply, "Because..." or something similar.

Hello,

The father didn't agree with what the girl is saying(From what I have understood).

"No(Not all the tales begin with "Once upon a time"), some begin with - If I am elected."​

 

[bhaisahab]

Hello,

The father didn't agree with what the girl is saying(From what I have understood).

"No(Not all the tales begin with "Once upon a time"), some begin with - If I am elected."​

As emsr2d2 pointed out, "if" is correct. You could also use "whether".

 

[david11]

As emsr2d2 pointed out, "if" is correct. You could also use "whether".

Can we ask questions with "If or Whether"?

 

[bhaisahab]

Can we ask questions with "If or Whether"?

Yes.

 

[david11]

Yes.

Please give me a couple of examples, bhaisahab. I haven't seen it before.

 

[bhaisahab]

Please give me a couple of examples, bhaisahab. I haven't seen it before.

"He asked me if/whether I was going to India this year."
"The application form asked if/whether i was married."
"I asked her if she would like to go to the cinema."

 

[david11]

"He asked me if/whether I was going to India this year."
"The application form asked if/whether i was married."
"I asked her if she would like to go to the cinema."

Are all these questions? I thought these all are statements because They have I asked..., It asked...

(I understand emrs2d2's correction of adding if there but what confuses me is that whether the use of question mark is correct there(does even this mean a question?).)

 

[bhaisahab]

Are all these questions? I thought these all are statements because They have I asked..., It asked...

(I understand emrs2d2's correction of adding if there but what confuses me is that whether the use of question mark is correct there(does even this mean a question?).)

The question mark in the original post is wrong.

 

[david11]

The question mark in the original post is wrong.

Yes, but emrs2d2 missed that in her correction.

 

[bhaisahab]

Yes, but emrs2d2 missed that in her correction.

Yes, she did. We all miss things sometimes, I didn't notice it until you mentioned it.

 

[emsr2d2]

I confess. I missed it. Wow, I must be human after all!

 

[david11]

I confess. I missed it. Wow, I must be human after all!

The fact that you rarely make mistake makes even very small mistakes of yours to be pointed out.

 

[david11]

Yes, she did. We all miss things sometimes, I didn't notice it until you mentioned it.

But again my doubt(about using If and whether to ask questions) remains because even the examples given by you look like statements and not questions.(about your post that if and whether can be used to ask questions)

 

[emsr2d2]

The difference comes between direct and indirect speech.

Direct speech

Child to father : "Do all fairy tales start with "Once upon a time", Daddy?"
Father to child : "No, some of them start "If I am elected ..."

Indirect speech

A child asked her father if all fairy tales start with "Once upon a time".

As you can see, the direct question does not use the word "if" and requires a question mark. The indirect question uses "if" and takes a full stop.