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    #1

    Should "as soldiers exposed to combat" be rewritten as "as that of soldiers..."?

    Should "as soldiers exposed to combat" be rewritten as "that of as soldiers exposed to combat" so as to make it clearer?

    Context:Maltreated Children Show Same Pattern of Brain Activity as Combat Soldiers

    ScienceDaily (Dec. 5, 2011) Children exposed to family violence show the same pattern of activity in their brains as soldiers exposed to combat, new research has shown.

  1. 5jj's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Should "as soldiers exposed to combat" be rewritten as "as that of soldiers..."?

    No; that would be incorrect. The children show the same activity pattern (in thir brains) as soldiers show/do (in theirs).

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    #3

    Re: Should "as soldiers exposed to combat" be rewritten as "as that of soldiers..."?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    Should "as soldiers exposed to combat" be rewritten as "that of as soldiers exposed to combat" so as to make it clearer?

    Context:Maltreated Children Show Same Pattern of Brain Activity as Combat Soldiers

    ScienceDaily (Dec. 5, 2011) — Children exposed to family violence show the same pattern of activity in their brains as soldiers exposed to combat, new research has shown.
    It means what you suggested but it doesn't need to be rewritten to make it clearer and your specific suggestion for rewriting is not grammatically correct. We don't say "that of as".

    The construction of the two relevant halves of the sentence is the same: "Children exposed to family violence" ... "soldiers exposed to combat".

    It could be rewritten as "Children who are exposed to family violence show the same pattern of activity in their brains as we see in the brains of soldiers who are exposed to combat" but there is nothing wrong with the original sentence.

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