[General] Seeking comments on Letter pertaining to not able to graduate (On next letter to Hod)

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David30

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Just because i failed one module, i cant graduate. If i repeat that module, i would have to wait for one year in order for the module to be presented. Im actually writing to ask my Head of Department to give me an alternative, or fortunately to get a degree and exempt that particular module which i fail, since that module is kinda obsolete as im the last batch of students.


Heres my letter to head of department, which i guess my written english is not very sufficient in presenting my ideas across or there some weird sentence structure, as follows;


Dear Dr Andrew,


I would like to seek for your kind advice pertaining to my graduation for the course of study, bsmb.


The failure to pass one module, have prevented me from attaining my degree, as well as stopping me from concentrating on my career path which indirectly leads to the loss of opportunity cost.
This module from the course of study is none other than MTH 306, Analysis Power Series and Calculus.
I understand that this is a compulsory course to be completed before graduation, however, throughout the 3 and 1/2 years of study i have seen many of the compulsory mathematics course being replaced/substituted with a new/similar compulsory module, i.e. Mth 102 and Mth 104e.


Also, i would like to bring your attention to my current credits/achievement for this module, which is also for your kind consideration.
In this course, i have reasonably attained 80% in all my TMAs for MTH 305/306, and a good pass for MTH 305, that has show my effort and understanding in the similar module.
Besides, i have took up 4 modules and achieving an average of 3.5-4.0, each individually.


Finally, as i know that my education is of paramount importance to me, and considering the fact that this course is presented only on January 2012 and January 2013, therefore i would like to seek for your kind advice on the alternatives.


For your kind consideration.
Thank You
Yours Sincerely,


Digitally Signed by,
David


Please advise
:?:
 

emsr2d2

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I assume you are studying Maths. Where are you studying? Your profile says you are a native English speaker, from Singapore and your current location is Singapore. If you are studying maths in Singapore, I cannot understand why you are writing to a Singaporean Head of Department in English and, and if English is your native language, why do you not write like a native English speaker?

This is your second post. If your member profile is not accurate and you have not told the truth on it, I wouldn't bother writing a third post.
 
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David30

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Exactly! Singapore is multi-ethnic/racial country, Singaporeans have different type of natives. Not necessary a native speaker must be brought up from native country abroad, i.e Eu/Us/Uk. Im a mixed blood. In singapore you will have to learned many languages that either one of your written/spoken language will flung..to certain degree. That's why my english becomes singlish...does all my info matters to the forum, when i thought the forum should be lending a helping hand to the needy??

Need help on the letter writing anyone!!
 

emsr2d2

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I'm aware that Singapore is a multi-ethnic/racial country. I'm just concerned that a native English speaker as you are described in your member info, would not even be aware of the requirement to always capitalise the word "I" (first person singular).

I apologise for any offence perceived but many of us get very frustrated with members who do not think that is important (or understand that it is a sign of respect) to give accurate information in their profile information. The information can be absolutely invaluable when we are trying to help someone.

I will take a look at your letter in greater detail shortly.
 
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David30

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It's alright, thats common when someone learns too much languages.....
Hod is from Uk, he understand singlish but just hoping that he will consider the content of this letter, when im able to write a better english
 

emsr2d2

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Just because I failed one module, I can't graduate. If I repeat that module, I would have to wait for one year in order for the module to be presented (do you mean before you can retake the module?) I'm actually writing to ask my Head of Department to give me an alternative, or [STRIKE]fortunately[/STRIKE] to get a degree and [STRIKE]exempt[/STRIKE] disregard that particular module which I failed, since that module is [STRIKE]kinda[/STRIKE] kind of obsolete as I'm in the last batch of students.


Here's my letter to the Head of Department, [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE]but I guess my written English is not [STRIKE]very[/STRIKE] sufficient [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to present[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] my ideas [STRIKE]across[/STRIKE] or perhaps there are some weird sentence structures. [STRIKE]as follows;[/STRIKE]


Dear Dr Andrew,

I would like to seek [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] your [STRIKE]kind[/STRIKE] advice [STRIKE]pertaining to[/STRIKE] regarding my graduation [STRIKE]for the course of study,[/STRIKE] in BSMB (I don't know if this is the correct abbreviation for your course).

The failure to pass one module (no comma) [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] has prevented me from attaining my degree, as well as stopping me from concentrating on my career path which indirectly leads to the loss of opportunities. [STRIKE]cost.[/STRIKE]

The module[STRIKE] from the course of study[/STRIKE] I failed is [STRIKE]none other than[/STRIKE] MTH 306, Analysis Power Series and Calculus.

I understand that this is a compulsory course to be completed before graduation, however, throughout [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my [STRIKE]3 and 1/2[/STRIKE] three and a half years of study I have seen many of the compulsory mathematics courses being replaced/substituted with [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] new/similar compulsory modules, i.e. Mth 102 and Mth 104e.

I would also like to bring your attention to my current credits/achievement for this module. [STRIKE]which is also for your kind consideration.[/STRIKE]
In this course, I have [STRIKE]reasonably[/STRIKE] attained 80% in all my TMAs for MTH 305/306, and a good pass for MTH 305, [STRIKE]that has show[/STRIKE] which shows my effort and understanding in the similar module.
[STRIKE]Besides,[/STRIKE] In addition, I have [STRIKE]took up[/STRIKE] taken 4 modules and achieved an average of 3.5-4.0, on each one. [STRIKE]individually.[/STRIKE]

Finally, [STRIKE]as i know that[/STRIKE] my education is of paramount importance to me, and [STRIKE]considering the fact that[/STRIKE] this course is [STRIKE]presented[/STRIKE] offered only [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in January 2012 and January 2013. Therefore, I would like to seek [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] your [STRIKE]kind[/STRIKE] advice on [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] any alternatives.

[STRIKE]For your kind consideration.[/STRIKE] Thank you for your consideration.
[STRIKE]Thank You[/STRIKE]
Yours Sincerely,


Digitally Signed by,
David


Please advise me.
:?:

See above.
 

5jj

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Exactly! Singapore is multi-ethnic/racial country, Singaporeans have different type of natives. Not necessary a native speaker must be brought up from native country abroad, i.e Eu/Us/Uk. Im a mixed blood. In singapore you will have to learned many languages that either one of your written/spoken language will flung..to certain degree. That's why my english becomes singlish...does all my info matters to the forum, when i thought the forum should be lending a helping hand to the needy??

Need help on the letter writing anyone!!
We give up our free time to help people. We do this for a number of reasons. I do it because I love language, and in particular the English language. I am therefore happy to spend time discussing people' language problems.

I ask nothing of the people I respond to except that they do not attempt to waste my time and/or deceive me. The level of the language in your posts is not what one would normally expect of a 'native speaker', which is almost certainly why ems wrote what she did. I have a strong suspicion that your native language is not English; if it were, you would not have written such things as, " In singapore you will have to learned many languages that either one of your written/spoken language will flung..to certain degree."

If you do not tell us the truth, I cannot be bothered to 'be lending a helping hand to the needy'. This is a language forum.
 
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bhaisahab

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David30

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We give up our free time to help people. We do this for a number of reasons. I do it because I love language, and in particular the English language. I am therefore happy to spend time discussing people' language problems.

I ask nothing of the people I respond to except that they do not attempt to waste my time and/or deceive me. The level of the language in your posts is not what one would normally expect of a 'native speaker', which is almost certainly why ems wrote what she did. I have a strong suspicion that your native language is not English; if it were, tou would not have written such things as, " In singapore you will have to learned many languages that either one of your written/spoken language will flung..to certain degree."

If you do not tell us the truth, I cannot be bothered to 'be lending a helping hand to the needy'. This is a language forum.
My apologies moderator, i sugges to include option, singlish ^^. Anyway im mixed, i will select more appropriate setting...
 

5jj

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I see you have changed your nationality and language to Finnish. Is that true?
It could be Chinese tomorrow, if Finnish is the closest to Singlish.
 
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