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  1. Marina Gaidar's Avatar
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    #1

    English world perception

    Hi there!
    Can you help me, please, with such an issue. I am not a native speaker (my mother tongue is Russian), so I often come across difficulties connected with different world perception. I am working on a scenarion now, which should be in English. Can you, please, tell me whether these names sound normal in English (they all are fictional). Murrain Clough - for an evil city; Goddark - for a god of evil; Godinis - for a god of good; Verge city; Doom - for a god of justice. One more thing... would it spoil your impression from a movie, if there would be some foreign unreadable names like Chernobog for a god of evil (which I had to translate into English as Goddark)?

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: English world perception

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Gaidar View Post
    Hi there!
    Can you help me, please, with such an issue. I am not a native speaker (my mother tongue is Russian), so I often come across difficulties connected with different world perception. I am working on a scenarion now, which should be in English. Can you, please, tell me whether these names sound normal in English (they all are fictional). Murrain Clough - for an evil city; Goddark - for a god of evil; Godinis - for a god of good; Verge city; Doom - for a god of justice. One more thing... would it spoil your impression from a movie, if there would be some foreign unreadable names like Chernobog for a god of evil (which I had to translate into English as Goddark)?
    No they don't sound normal, but you're writing fantasy - the names are supposed to be unfamiliar. Doom, as the name of a God of justice sounds ill-advised. What's "verge city" an example of?
    Chernobog is not hard in English, though nor is Goddark.
    I'd say that this naming is the least of the problems you will encounter though.

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: English world perception

    Hello Marina and welcome to Using English. You have asked some interesting questions.

    I would not think of "Murrain Clough" as the name of a city, because "Clough" doesn't mean anything to me that sounds "city-like."

    Chernobog sounds find too. I'd say it as "churn-oh-bog." If we can make it through the names in Lord of the Rings, we can make it through anything!

    Goddark and Godonis sound fine, but "Doom" is a word with bad connotations, so it doesn't sound like justice to me - it sounds like death.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  4. Marina Gaidar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: English world perception

    Well, I should explain that Murrain Clough is a city of the Evil which is situated in a deep clough.

    Verge city is a city between those ones of the Good and the Evil.

    Doom... yes, ill-advised for a god of justice, but he is supposed to be a traitor:) is it ok for a bad guy?

    Of course, I didn't mean that somebody cannot manage to read something like Chernobog (after such a challenge as Lord of the Rings:). I just wonder will this name give any idea about a character, may be it is better to translate it in order to give the audience some understanding?

  5. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: English world perception

    I don't understand how you translate a proper name. I'd leave it in the original.
    Verge City will require a capital C.
    I don't know what a "clough" is so that's why Murrain Clough doesn't sound like a city to me. Perhaps other dialectcs of English have this word.
    I still advise against "Doom." "Doom" means something bad is certain to happen. Even if he's a traitor, it's a bad name for god of justice.

    Regardless of which names you choose, have fun with it.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #6

    Re: English world perception

    I just wonder will this name give any idea about a character, may be it is better to translate it in order to give the audience some understanding?
    Leave some exercises to the reader.

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    #7

    Re: English world perception

    If you don't want to use the Slavic names...

    I'd say leave Chernobog as a name for the Black God untranslated. It's close enough to Chernobyl, and the dark (Pripet!) marshes (for those readers who know something of real-world geography) that it probably carries enough negative power.

    For the god of justice, use something with the root Fate. It is close enough to the Fates, and to the Fas or the divine law, that the point should carry -- and it also matches the Russian root you are grappling with.

    For the White God, try something with the root Lux or light, but stay away from Lucifer.

    ...These are only suggestions, of course.

  6. Marina Gaidar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: English world perception

    Yes, Chernobog sounds similar to Chernobyl - a very strong comparison! Thank you for this good idea! Such comparison will reveal some characteristics of the protagonist. Absolutely agree about negative power - I live in Ukraine.

    Fate - Fates - Fas - sounds great!

    No Lucifer, I promise:)

    Thank you for very useful tips!

  7. Marina Gaidar's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: English world perception

    Quote Originally Posted by SoothingDave View Post
    Leave some exercises to the reader.
    It will be probably the best decision

  8. Marina Gaidar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: English world perception

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    I don't understand how you translate a proper name.
    Well, sometimes it is possible, like in Harry Potter-like cases when the names have some special connotation to be rendered.

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