Hi, I am currently a year nine pupil who will start his GCSE's next year. I was wondering what grade I am working at currently. I decided to answer the GCSE question below. Could you please tell me what GCSE grade this piece may be worth and how I can improve this piece. Also, I would like to know if there are any A/A* standard parts in this piece.
The question I had to answer was: "Describe a journey you have made by a plane,train, car or bus."
I wandered into the vivid boarding lounge; by which I was fascinated. The multi-coloured chairs mesmerized my eyes. The spectacular glass view was so remarkable, that it shook me into a state of giddy exuberance. My eyes fixed with a hypnotic trance. I gazed enthusiastically at the majestic planes that took off into the distance.
“Would Passengers flying on the ZB279 Airline -- Please make their way to the gate. Your plane is ready to board.”
Adrenaline rushed through my body. I ran as quickly as I could, to get to gate 37; so that I could be first on the plane. “Hello, Could I please see your boarding pass?” The lady asked civilly, as she stood there with a smile growing itself onto her jovial face. She checked my boarding pass and showed me the way to freedom.
I boarded the plane eagerly and looked around for my seat. There was my seat! I quickly put my baggage into the cabin and sat down next to the window. A small child, aged around four, came and sat next to me. His mother, set with the gruelling responsibilities of motherhood, screeched and screamed at the innocent child before he eventually agreed to fasten his seatbelt. He wiped his mucus off of his pale face with his brand new jumper whilst cold tears watered themselves out of his eyes. The plane rumbled its lugubrious engines and prepared for the runway – as the cabin crew were trying to show uninterested travellers the emergency exits. I gazed eagerly out of the window. However, my happiness was about to end. The little boy who was sat next to me began to scream! “MUM! MY EARS HURT!” His screaming was so infuriating. However, at least I had my iPod.
The plane was decorated in an Olympic inspired style. The chairs! Oh, the chairs! They were so comfortable and I was not even in first class. The members of staff were so benevolent and obliging and they even gave me a free bar of chocolate. During the flight, I enjoyed a few hours of blissful oblivion, gazed at the fascinating view - which my eyes explored whilst I looked out the window and I even watched a film. Though when the plane came into landing, the same experience from the take off came back to tyrannize me.
The plane had finally landed! I then set off to find my new home, for the next seven days! Even though, I could not wait for the journey back.