Hi, this is the first time for me.
I am preparing for the IELTS test and I am really worried about my writing. I am so afraid that my English may seem like "chinglish", therefore I really hope that you can give me some advice. THANK YOU A LOT FOR YOUR PRECIOUS TIME.

HERE IS the main paragraph in the report I wrote according to a given graph.(The graph illustrates the number of people in a station in London throughout one day.)

As we can learn from the line graph, the number of people at a London Station fluctuates grealty over the period. More precisely, the number stands at only 100 at 6 in the morning. Then, it climbs dramatically in the next 2 hours and finally culminating at 400 at 8am. After that there is a downward trend and the number goes down straightly to 180 two hours later. The coming 4 hours sees a slight growth in number and arrives at 300 at 2pm. However, the figures declines again greatly, and there is fewest people in this station at 4pm, only 99. The next 2 hours witnesses a rapid growth with the number soaring to nearly the same as that at 8am, at 6pm. From the point onwards, the number drops to a low point of 189 at 8pm. Then the number increases to 180 by 9pm before decreasing again to only 110 by the end of 10pm.

I am sure about wether I use the words and phrases correctly or not, would you please offer me some advice?
Thank you!

Originally Posted by weast

As we can learn from the line graph, the number of people at a London Station fluctuates grealty greatly over the period. More precisely, the number stands at only 100 at 6 in the morning. Then, it climbs dramatically in the next 2 hours and is finally culminating at 400 at 8 am. After that there is a downward trend and the number goes down straightly to 180 two hours later. The coming following 4 hours sees a slight growth in the number and arrives at as it peaks at 300 at 2 pm. However, the figures declines again greatlysteeply, and there is are the fewest people in at this station at 4 pm, only 99. The next 2 hours witnesses witness a rapid growth with the number soaring to nearly the same as that at 8 am and at 6 pm. From the that point onwards, the number drops to a low point of 189 at 8 pm. Then the number increases to 180 by 9 pm before decreasing again to only 110 by the end of 10 pm. (I'm not sure that you can say "by the end of XY pm/am").
There needs to be a space between a number and "pm" or "am". Even though it's not stylistically bad at all, it could be improved by omitting or replacing often repeated words and phrases.

Thank you so much！You've helped me a lot!
But I don't understand why it should be "witness" instead of "witnesses" in the second to last sentence?

Originally Posted by weast
Thank you so much！You've helped me a lot!
But I don't understand why it should be "witness" instead of "witnesses" in the second to last sentence?
It needs to be "witness" because it follows the phrase "he next 2 hours", which is plural. If there was "the next hour" instead, you would have to use "witnesses".

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