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  1. Member
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      • Quechua
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    The Essay Writing from Primary 6, what do you think?

    Hi All,

    This essay is from a well-known primary school in my country, the level is P.6, do you think this is a good essay writing? Please give your comment if you think there are any mistakes. Thanks!

    The New Ending of Cinderella

    The Prince sent an invitation card of joining the ball to all of the young girls in the town. Cinderella’s stepmother wanted to go too, but she didn’t receive any cards because she was too old. On the day of the ball, Fairy Godmother came to Cinderella’s house to help her. Cinderella’s stepmother rushed to Fairy mother and asked her for help. Fairy Godmother was kind, so, with the help of her magic, Cinderella’s stepmother looked much younger. That night, Cinderella, her stepmother and her two stepsisters went to the ball. They found that the prince was rude, mean, ugly and fat. They didn’t want to dance with the Prince anymore. Unfortunately, the Prince fell in love with Cinderella’s
    stepmother because of her beauty. Although she didn’t like the Prince, she wanted to have his money. So, she promised to marry the ugly Prince. On the wedding day, both Cinderella and her stepsisters laughed happily when they saw their mother and the Prince. They thought that their mother deserved that for being so bad to them! The stepmother was very embarrassed and her face was as red as an apple. She regretted for her silly behaviour but it was too late. After a few years, Cinderella met a handsome prince and both her stepsisters married good men, too. They lived happily ever after.

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
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    Re: The Essay Writing from Primary 6, what do you think?

    It's very clever, though!
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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