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    #1

    Can I leave out "in the infants" in the sentence?

    I think deleting "in the infants" will bring no harm to the meaning of the sentence. Rather, it makes it concise. Am I on the right track?
    The sentence:

    The therapy is an excellent clinical intervention for infants. The intervention, however, can lead to permanent
    change of heart development and increasing susceptibility of liver virus infection in the infants

    ---------------------
    In addition, should I add "the" before "permanent change" and before "increasing susceptiblity"?
    Last edited by NewHopeR; 12-Aug-2012 at 02:37. Reason: misspelling

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Can I leave out "in the infants" in the sentence?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    I think deleting "in the infants" will bring no harm to the meaning of the sentence. Rather, it makes it concise. Am I on the right track?
    The sentence:

    The therapy is an excellent clinical intervention for infants. The intervention, however, can lead to permanent
    change of heart development and increasing susceptibility of liver virus infection in the infants

    ---------------------
    In addition, should I add "the" before "permanent change" and before "increasing susceptiblity"?
    I would not only omit "in the infants" I would also avoid the repetition of "intervention".

    The therapy is an excellent clinical intervention for infants. It can, however, lead to permanent changes in heart development and increased susceptibility to viral liver infection.

    If it is clear that the piece is about the therapy's effects on infants, then I don't think it's necessary to reiterate the words "infants".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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