ABC Ambassador

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jasveron

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Nov 20, 2006
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Chinese
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How can I present the below idea in a better (formal) style?

It is intended to be the reply slip in an invitation email.

"I agree to be the ABC Ambassador and I understand that some of my personal information, my picture(s) and my writing - where OIA holds the right to edit, will be displayed on the OIA website."


ABC = School's name
OIA = Office's name

Thank you!
 

charliedeut

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How can I present the below idea in a better (formal) style?

It is intended to be the reply slip in an invitation email.

"I [STRIKE]agree[/STRIKE] am honored to be appointed as the ABC Ambassador; [STRIKE]and [/STRIKE]I understand that some of my personal information, my picture(s) and my writing - where OIA holds the right to edit, will be displayed on the OIA website."


ABC = School's name
OIA = Office's name

Thank you!

That's one part. maybe a native speaker will guide us through the rest of it.

charliedeut
 

jasveron

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Chinese
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Hong Kong
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Hong Kong
Thank you!

Since it is intended to be included in the invitation email (which I will send out) as a convenient reply for the students, I think I should exactly avoid words like "honoured"/"appointed"?

The students will just need to copy the "reply slip" I write, and reply to me, to make them an ambassador. It is more like I am asking them to help thus I am not sure if adding "honoured" would be appropriate.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
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How many ambassadors will there be?
 

jasveron

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Nov 20, 2006
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Chinese
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Hong Kong
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There will be many. My re-written version:

"I agree to be an ABC Ambassador; I understand that some of my personal information, my picture(s) and my writing - where OIA holds the right to edit, will be displayed on the OIA website."
 

jasveron

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2006
Member Type
Other
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Hong Kong
Current Location
Hong Kong
Can anyone please help proofread my sentence? Thanks a lot!

"I agree to be an ABC Ambassador; I understand that some of my personal information, my picture(s) and my writing - where OIA holds the right to edit, will be displayed on the OIA website."
 

charliedeut

VIP Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Spain
Current Location
Spain
Can anyone please help proofread my sentence? Thanks a lot!

"I agree to be an ABC Ambassador; I understand that some of my personal information, [STRIKE]my [/STRIKE]picture(s) and [STRIKE]my [/STRIKE]writing - where OIA holds the right to edit, will be displayed on the OIA website."

In this context, IMO, there's no need to repeat "my".
 
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