Help me with my master application?

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Daniellex123

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Hello, could someone check this first version of my master application? Would really appreciate it.
Thank you!


Dear Sir or Madam,

my name is ______and I am writing you to express my interest in applying for the Master programme Innovation & Management in Tourism, scheduled to start in September 2013.

I am currently studying Management and Tourism at the NHTV University of Applied Sciences in Breda, The Netherlands. During my time at this University I have gained a strong academic background in the subjects marketing, imagineering, destination management and corporate communication. Combined with my work experience in the field of eTourism at the company _____, I am the best candidate for this master.

The international orientation of the programme is what appeals to me the most. I have spent 6 months abroad as an intern in Switzerland. Here I worked at a international department and this absolutely broadened my own horizon. I enjoy working in the tourism industry, because it is an dynamic and continuously changing business. Because of my time abroad my language skills in English and German are both excellent. I also enjoy learning new languages.

Another reason for choosing this specific master, is that it perfectly matches with the courses that I have followed during my Bachelor education (see transcript of records). I am specifically interested in Imagineering, the USP of this programme.

My professional goal is to work in a leading position for a well-known company in the field of tourism, after successfully finishing my masters degree. This master programme will contribute positively to the evolution of my career.

I am certain that my previous academic career, my strong interest and existing knowledge in tourism, my ambition and eagerness to broaden my horizon and educate myself further make me a highly suitable candidate for the Innovation & Management in Tourism Master programme at your University.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours sincerely,
______
 

billmcd

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Mar 27, 2009
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English Teacher
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English
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United States
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Hello, could someone check this first version of my master application? Would really appreciate it.
Thank you!


Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is ______. [STRIKE]and I am writing you [/STRIKE] This is to express my interest in applying for the Master programme, Innovation & Management in Tourism, scheduled to start in September 2013.

I am currently studying Management and Tourism at the NHTV University of Applied Sciences in Breda, The Netherlands. During my time at this University I have gained a strong academic background in the subjects of marketing, imagineering, destination management and corporate communication. Combined with my work experience in the field of eTourism at the company _____, I [STRIKE]am the best [/STRIKE] I consider myself to be an excellent candidate for [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] master programme.

The international orientation of the programme is what appeals to me[STRIKE] the [/STRIKE]most. I have spent 6 months abroad as an intern in Switzerland.[STRIKE] Here [/STRIKE] There I worked [STRIKE]at a[/STRIKE] in an international department and this [STRIKE]absolutely[/STRIKE] significantly broadened my[STRIKE] own horizon[/STRIKE] personal goals. I enjoy working in the tourism industry, because it is [STRIKE]an [/STRIKE] a dynamic and continuously changing business. Because of my time abroad my language skills in both English and German are [STRIKE]both[/STRIKE] excellent. I also enjoy learning new languages.

Another reason for choosing this specific master, is that it perfectly matches with the courses that I have followed during my Bachelor education [STRIKE](see transcript of records). [/STRIKE] My transcript is enclosed. I am specifically interested in Imagineering, the USP of this programme.

After successfully finishing my masters degree, my professional goal is to work in a [STRIKE]leading [/STRIKE] lead position for a well-known company in the field of tourism, . This master programme will contribute positively to the evolution of my career. (A great statement)

I am certain that my previous academic career, my strong interest and existing knowledge in tourism, my ambition and eagerness to broaden my horizon and educate myself further, make me a highly suitable candidate for the Innovation & Management in Tourism Master programme at your University. (Another great statement)

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours sincerely,
______

Nice work. Good Luck! :up:
 

Daniellex123

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Joined
Sep 23, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Dutch
Home Country
Netherlands
Current Location
Netherlands
Thank you very much for your correction! :-D
 
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