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    • Join Date: Jan 2006
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    Wink french student

    hello! I am a french student from Paris. I have just written an essay: could you correct it and tell me if some sentences are awkward and why.
    thank very very much.

    Imagine a good fairy granted you one wish. Which one would it be? Justify your choice. (280-300words)
    If a good fairy granted me a wish, I would ask her to slow down time. Indeed, life is so short and there are so many things to do and to see that ,in my life, I will hardly be able to see one millionth of our planet. I really want to live as much things as possible and follow all my dreams, but I know it is impossible. If I had that opportunity I would first, apart from my school life, enjoy more my adolescence : I would often go to the disco and to the cinema and I would do fun things like parachuting, bungee jumping, water-skiing etc. I would totally enjoy myself and I think it is important when you are young to occupy yourself with frivolous activities. Then, when I finish my studies, I would try to follow an other dream, a much more serious one: I would give myself all to become a renowned journalist and be able to travel all around the world to make documentaries about the ethnic group of the long-neck-women, the fascinating Iguaçu waterfalls or the endangered giant panda for instance. I would learn to scuba dive, pilot and sail. Then, when I am middle-aged, I would start an other carer, my last dream! I would work for art. Thus, would love to become a museum curator or an auctioneer. Finally, at the end of my life, I would be a fulfilled, joyous and blissful grandmother because I would have plenty amazing things to tell to my great grandchildren, because I have forgotten to add : I would also have a very large family!
    Of course, all this is impossible, because of …TIME!

    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. “
    Mark Twain

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
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    • Join Date: Nov 2002
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    Re: french student

    as much things as- many- also, would you 'live' or 'do' as many things...
    enjoy more my adolescence- enjoy my adolescence more
    when I finish- finished (to go with 'would)
    give myself all - give my all to
    an other carer- another career
    Thus, would love- Thus, I ...
    plenty amazing- plenty of...

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