[Essay] Could you check this story from my blog (my first experience), please

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marishenjka

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[FONT=&quot]The best things in our life happen suddenly.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]I’d like to share the story of my marriage. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]I and my husband applied to the marriage register nextday after our first date. Actually we had known each other for half a year. Weworked for the same company. But never spoke to each other more than two words.Once it happened that we spent our holiday in the open air with our colleagues.Then he asked to take me home. I invited him to come in. We chatted all thenight. He helped me with my new washing machine, connected TV. And said, injest, that for all he has done for me I should marry him. He stayed the nightby me. In the morning I asked him if his offer still stood. “Yes” – heanswered. “Then I take my pass and let’s go to apply for a marriage!” “First Ishould pick up mine.” A month later we got married. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A year has passed but it seems to me that we love eachother more and more every day. Despite the skepticism of friends and relatives.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Our story is the exception, not the rule. It looksreckless. But I only see two people tired of series of senseless relationships.He meets the woman full of unspent love and tenderness, who craves to take careof somebody. She meets skillful and reliable man, who wants to haste home fromwork thinking of loving wife waiting for him there. Both seek to bring orderand stability in their lives. So, they find each other…[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
 

billmcd

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Mar 27, 2009
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The best things in our life happen suddenly.
I’d like to share the story of my marriage. [STRIKE]I and my husband [/STRIKE] My husband and I (Note: not because it should be male before female, but because you should place the other person first) applied to the marriage register [STRIKE]nextday[/STRIKE] the day after our first date. Actually, we had known each other for half a year. We worked for the same company, but never spoke to each other more than two words. Once it happened that we spent our holiday [STRIKE]in the open air [/STRIKE] (is that relevant?) with our colleagues.Then, he asked to take me home. I invited him to come in. We chatted all [STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] night. He helped me with my new washing machine, and connected the TV. [STRIKE]And[/STRIKE] He said, injest, that for all he has done for me I should marry him. He stayed the night[STRIKE] by [/STRIKE] with me. In the morning I asked him if his offer still stood. “Yes” – he answered. “Then I [STRIKE]take[/STRIKE] my pass (?) and said , "let’s go to apply for a marriage! (application/license ?) ” “First I should pick up mine",he said . A month later we got married. A year has passed but it seems to me that we love each other more and more every day, despite the skepticism of friends and relatives. Our story is the exception, not the rule. It looks reckless. But I only see two people tired of a series of senseless relationships. He meets the woman full of unspent love and tenderness, who craves to take care of somebody. She meets a skillful and reliable man, who wants to hasten home from work thinking of a loving wife waiting for him there. Both seek to bring order and stability in their lives. So, they find each other…

Nice work, both with your writing and with your relationship.

 
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