Could you please revise my letter?

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Delgermaa123

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Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Mongolian
Home Country
Mongolia
Current Location
Mongolia
Hello? I need your help. I submitted my application to my adorable University. But, I am worrying about my references. They were sent directly admission office. So need to make sure that admission officer know that these references belong to me. I wrote a letter but I feel it is not good enough. Can you revise it for me? Please? Thank you very much for helping millions of people:)
Here is my letter:

Dear Sirs/Madams
Good Morning?
I, Dee P, registration number 99999, am willing to pursue my Masters in Finance at prestigious XYZ.
I have only eyes for accepting XYZ and worrying about if my reference letter handed in right time and accompany my application. Two of my previous professors provided me a reference letter and sent them directly to XYZ Admission office.
I have just realized that there is a possibility for my references could not state my name clearly. Therefore, I would like to make sure if my references were accompany my application.
One of my references was sent by Mr. X, President of UB Toastmaster International, and a lecturer at LLL. The other one was sent by Mrs. Y, a lecturer at LLL
Is it possible for you to check if my references considered for me?
I am looking forward hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time.
Best Regards,
Dee.P
 

Gillnetter

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hello? I need your help. I submitted my application to my adorable ("adorable" refers to someone or something that you love, not a school) University. But, I am [STRIKE]worrying [/STRIKE] worried about my references. They were sent directly to the admission office. So, I need to make sure that the admission officer know that these references belong to me. I wrote a letter but I feel it is not good enough. Can you revise it for me? Please? Thank you very much for helping millions of people:)
Here is my letter:

Dear [STRIKE]Sirs/Madams[/STRIKE] Sir or Madam (Though, I would use: Attn: Admission Officer)
[STRIKE]Good Morning?[/STRIKE]
I am, Dee P, registration number 99999, [STRIKE]am willing[/STRIKE] I wish to pursue my Masters in Finance at [STRIKE]prestigious XYZ[/STRIKE] your school.
I [STRIKE]have only eyes for accepting XYZ and worrying about[/STRIKE] am concerned if my reference letters [STRIKE]handed [/STRIKE] arrived in [STRIKE]right [/STRIKE]time and [STRIKE]accompany [/STRIKE]
accompanied my application. Two of my previous professors provided me [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] reference letters and sent them directly to [STRIKE]XYZ Admission[/STRIKE] the admissions office.
I have just realized that there is a possibility [STRIKE]for [/STRIKE] that my references [STRIKE]could [/STRIKE] did not state my name clearly. Therefore, I would like to make sure [STRIKE]if [/STRIKE] that my references were [STRIKE]accompany [/STRIKE] ​ accompanied by my application.
One of my references was sent by Mr. X, President of UB Toastmaster International, and a lecturer at LLL. The other one was sent by Mrs. Y, a lecturer at LLL
Is it possible for you to check if my references [STRIKE]considered for me[/STRIKE] arrived and are being considered?
I am looking forward hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time.
Best Regards,
Dee.P
Gil
 
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