Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. Senior Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Nov 2009
    • Posts: 1,049
    #1

    Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    From her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking behind, which rendered me uneasy.

  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
    Moderator
    Retired English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 25,720
    #2

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    From her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking behind, which rendered me uneasy.
    It doesn't make sense.

  3. Key Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,485
    #3

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    It doesn't make sense.
    Use your imagination, or maybe not.

  4. Senior Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Nov 2009
    • Posts: 1,049
    #4

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Hmm.. how about:

    Behind her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking, which rendered me uneasy.

  5. Key Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2010
    • Posts: 1,690
    #5

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    Hmm.. how about:

    Behind her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking, which rendered me uneasy.
    You are after some sort of comparison here. I would start the sentence with something like, "In spite of her...".

  6. 5jj's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Retired English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 27,915
    #6

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    Behind her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking, which rendered me uneasy.
    I could accept that.

  7. Raymott's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Academic
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 25,447
    #7

    Re: Please edit it: From her gentleness and quietness...

    Quote Originally Posted by NewHopeR View Post
    Hmm.. how about:

    Behind her gentleness and quietness, I smelt some tumultuousness and treacherousness lurking, which rendered me uneasy.
    It's pretty awful stylistically with all those "-nesses". Sorry.
    Also "smelt" doesn't sound right unless you're a dog.
    " ... I detected some tumult and treachery, which made me uneasy."

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •