Hi... I always followed this forum but never wrote anything..I need some help with my letter of motivation to a scholarship in Europe.
Here goes what I wrote.. if someone could criticize, evaluate.. I´d be thankful
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am applying to the Erasmus Mundus Master Program “xxxxxx”. I wish in particular to be trained and specialized in sustainable energy. My ultimate purpose is to become an expert in this field and work towards a sustainable development. I believe that the opportunity of this program in such relevant institutions will help me achieve my final goal.
Since High School I have enormous interest in physics and mathematics as well as environmental sciences and biology. I succeeded in the engineering entrance examinations and established myself as one amongst the top students of the nation. I studied Environmental Engineering at University of São Paulo, the best university in South America and one of the bests in the world according to 2012 Times Higher Education World University Rankings and 2012 QS World University Ranking.
In December 2011 I graduated with a Bachelor of engineering degree. In my continuous search for knowledge, I have always assumed a thorough approach in order to obtain a deep understanding of the topic in matter.
During my undergraduate years I involved myself in extracurricular activities such as School of Engineering Junior Enterprise, where the students run a company to attain knowledge and field experience by offering low-cost solutions to local community. Also, I held the nominated position of Director at the College Athletic Association, where a group of students were responsible for organizing every aspect related to sports, including tournaments and budget for coaches.
I have always dedicated myself deeply to everything I made compromise. Ever since I was an undergraduate student, I aimed qualification to grow as a professional and human being.
As an intern, I worked at a company that has its expertise in environmental technologies and sustainable projects. I developed many characteristics and acquaintance with this fascinating field. After graduated, I continued to work in this company, as an Environmental Engineer. I have being working with sustainable projects concerning cities and urban development. My seek for new technologies drives me towards your institution to acquire more experience and relevance in this matter.
I wish to explore every feature and work hard to be recognized as an expert. Furthermore, I wish to concentrate my study culminating in a PhD and apply all knowledge onto developing tools to improve environmental quality.
My passion for environmental enhancement is not limit to my current work. I have also participated in projects related with infrastructure, wastewater and effluent treatment.
As a dedicated and committed student who likes to face challenges, I think the Erasmus Mundus Masters program is doubtless the finest way to obtain the skill set that I need to step into this thrilling topic and achieve my goal.
Being as enthusiastic and engaged student, I assessed the institutions that are jointly offering this program and their global repute in order to properly choose the best opportunity to my personal and professional growth.
I am sure that I can be helpful and bring a cultural and professional baggage to the program. With my thoroughness and goal driven attitude allied to my willingness to work as a team, I think I can make a better environment for all students involved in the program from across the globe
Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.
Student or Learner