need urgent help on vote of thanks

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gauri_agr

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Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
United States
Hi,

I have to say vote of thanks on this Saturday after an Indian Festival, which will have food, DJ, and stage performance by the kids. I tried to write it in poetry way below

Please correct the grammar or anything else which look weird here

--------------------------------

I stand here and day dream
I wish I could see my India
I wish I could show my children my beautiful festival "Diwali"
My day dream came out true
God send Deepa and Bindu to take the initiative and to organize my day dream
I thank Deepa and Bindu to maintain this tradition for past seven years
God sent Chitra to book this hall
A hall where my day dream came true
God sent Lisa to let us rent this beautiful hall
A hall where my day dream came out true
I thank "Chitra" and "Lisa" for facilitating this hall.
How could my day dream be full fill without the Indian food
God sent Indian delight to make my day dream true
I thank Indian delight to deliver the delicious India food
How can I survive by myself I am not at all powerful, I need the help of others to survive
God send a ton of volunteers to decorate this hall to look like a festive place
The volunteers who also helped in many other unnamed tasks
I thank to all the volunteers to make my day dream happen
My heartfelt thank to all moms who make their children prepare for dance, music poems and prayers
Moms who do not have the replacement like GOD
My day dream came out true
God send "Vidhy" with full of energy to shop for Diwali
I thank "Vidhya" for all her Shopping help
My innerslef was dancing with joy to see my day dream true
"Suresh" helped us to organize DJ and all others also joined to dance with joy
My great thanks to "Suresh" to bring a beautiful DJ
Last but not least I thanks to all the grandparents to present here to bless us.
Thank you all.
-------------------------------


Thanks
Gauri
 

Gillnetter

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hi,

I have to say vote of thanks on this Saturday after an Indian Festival, which will have food, DJ, and stage performance by the kids. I tried to write it in poetry way below

Please correct the grammar or anything else which look weird here

--------------------------------

I stand here and [STRIKE]day dream
[/STRIKE] daydream
I wish I could see my India
I wish I could show my children my beautiful festival, "Diwali" ("my festival" means that you own the festival - I would use "the festival")
My day dream came [STRIKE]out [/STRIKE]true (At this point I would discontinue using "daydream" and start using "dream")
God send Deepa and Bindu to take the initiative and to organize my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream
I thank Deepa and Bindu [STRIKE]to maintain [/STRIKE] for maintaining this tradition for past seven years
God sent Chitra to book this hall
A hall where my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream came true
God sent Lisa to [STRIKE]let [/STRIKE] help us rent this beautiful hall
A hall where my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream came [STRIKE]out [/STRIKE]true
I thank "Chitra" and "Lisa" for facilitating this hall.
How could my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream be [STRIKE]full fill [/STRIKE] fulfilled without the Indian food?
God sent Indian delight to make my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream true (Is "Indian delight the name of a company? If so, then capitalize "Delight")
I thank Indian delight [STRIKE]to deliver [/STRIKE] for delivering the delicious India food
How can I survive by myself? I am not at all powerful, I need the help of others to survive
God send a ton of volunteers to decorate this hall to look like a festive place
The volunteers [STRIKE]who [/STRIKE]also helped in many other unnamed tasks
I thank [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE]all the volunteers to make my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream happen
My heartfelt thank to all the moms who [STRIKE]make [/STRIKE] prepared their children [STRIKE]prepare [/STRIKE]for dance, music, poems and prayers
Moms who do not have the replacement like GOD (I don't understand this line)
My [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream came [STRIKE]out [/STRIKE]true
God send "Vidhy" [STRIKE]with [/STRIKE],full of energy to shop for Diwali
I thank "Vidhya" for all her shopping help
My [STRIKE]innerslef [/STRIKE] innerself was dancing with joy to see my [STRIKE]day [/STRIKE]dream come true
"Suresh" helped us to organize [STRIKE]DJ [/STRIKE] the music and all others also joined to dance with joy
My great thanks to "Suresh" [STRIKE]to bring [/STRIKE] for being a beautiful DJ
Last but not least, [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] thanks to all the grandparents [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] present here to bless us.
Thank you all.
-------------------------------


Thanks
Gauri
Gil
 

gauri_agr

Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
United States
Thanks Gil. I am bit confident now and will make the changes as you suggested...Thanks, Gauri
 
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