[Idiom] Article of opinion, I need help,please

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duendecillo

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Dec 11, 2012
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Spanish
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Spain
Hello everyone,
Thanks so much for allow me to be member or this forum. Well, I am learning upper level of English and I need to write an article of opin¡on about a topic my topic is "Cosmetic surgery"

Dear Director,
After reading your article about "advantages of cosmetic surgery among youngest" recently published in your newspaper. I' d like to express my disagreement with the ideas on it stated
To star with, it is well know that cosmetic surgery is all the rage among teenagers mainly because of there are rich and famous people who began opting for elective cosmetic surgery.
Nobody know that cosmetic surgery was first used regularly after Worl Ward I, as a treatment and reconstruciton of war injuries. Currently, for people who has suffered a damaging burn or other physical trauma. It goes without saying that if it is for medical reasons I am all for it
Nevertheless, which really get on my nerves is the fact that teenagers have about cosmetic surgery. Admiteddly, they are only focus on how get a breast augmentation without bearing in mind the risk physical and psychological with all implies that kind of surgery.
Personally, I believe that young's have steryotypes that does not correspond with reality. Above all, this phenomenon is due to social networks and Internet........


I have written this. Any suggestions? how finish the article opinion, ideas. ALL of them will be welcome.
Thanks in advance for your assistance towards me, and native speakers are welcome. By the way, ideas, thoughts too
 

emsr2d2

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Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Hello everyone,
Thanks so much for allow me to be member or this forum. Well, I am learning upper level of English and I need to write an article of opin¡on about a topic my topic is "Cosmetic surgery"

Dear Director,
After reading your article about "advantages of cosmetic surgery among youngest" recently published in your newspaper. I' d like to express my disagreement with the ideas on it stated (missing punctuation)
To star with, it is well know that cosmetic surgery is all the rage among teenagers mainly because of there are rich and famous people who began opting for elective cosmetic surgery (tautologous).
Nobody know that cosmetic surgery was first used regularly after Worl Ward I, as a treatment and reconstruciton of war injuries. Currently, for people who has suffered a damaging burn or other physical trauma (this is not a full sentence). It goes without saying that if it is for medical reasons I am all for it (missing punctuation)
Nevertheless, which really get on my nerves is the fact that teenagers have about cosmetic surgery. Admiteddly, they are only focus on how get a breast augmentation without bearing in mind the risk physical and psychological with all implies that kind of surgery.
Personally, I believe that young's have steryotypes that does not correspond with reality. Above all, this phenomenon is due to social networks and Internet........


I have written this. Any suggestions? how finish the article opinion, ideas. ALL of them will be welcome.
Thanks in advance for your assistance towards me, and native speakers are welcome. By the way, ideas, thoughts too

Before adding any more information, I think you should take a closer look at what you have already written and correct the errors. I have marked in red each word or section which contains a mistake (spelling, punctuation, capitalisation, grammar, verb agreement etc).

Was the title of article really "advantages of cosmetic surgery among youngest"? That is terrible English.
 
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