Please check this essay for IELTS exam. How much band it can earn?

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shahzadt

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Should Students Have after School Jobs? Please provide your opinion on merits and demerits of part – time jobs for students.

The idea of students doing part-time jobs is an old rather controversial one. People are having mixed opinion in this regard. Those who favor this notion believe that part-time jobs can better train the youngsters about the practical life scenarios. Part-time jobs can also help meeting financial needs of students. However, to some, part-time jobs have an adverse effect on the education of the individuals as they lose the concentration on their studies. I am in favor of part-time jobs for students based on below mentioned opinions.

Students will have to start their practical life eventually to earn their bread and butter. Those having a job from a high school can develop the positive attitude towards workplace. They know the notions of hard work, responsibility and commitment better than others which will play a vital role in securing a good job. Employers prefer the graduates with some prior working experience over fresh candidates as they will be more effective in less time. Part-time jobs can be more effective if these are related to student’s area of studies as everything cannot be taught through theory and a real-world implementation of the concepts can make a huge difference in terms of learning.

Students who are less fortunate in terms of financial stability can use part-time jobs to continue their studies. Getting a quality education requires more financial resources which are out of reach for many. I myself used to teach Mathematics and Physics to meet my personal expenses when in college. Part-time jobs can also help realization of future objectives in terms of career selection.

Although in some cases, people with part time jobs tend to be very weak in studies and cannot secure good grades which will affect their education; but appropriate measures from parents and teachers can help those individuals. Students start developing independent decision making skills can lead to problems and sometimes money can steer them away from the studies.

In conclusion, part-time working has both merits and demerits but the merits greatly overweigh the opposite. So I believe that students should be doing part-time jobs in high school.
 

Gillnetter

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Should students have after school Jobs? Please provide your opinion on the merits and demerits of part – time jobs for students.

The idea of students [STRIKE]doing [/STRIKE] having part-time jobs is an old and rather controversial one. People [STRIKE]are having [/STRIKE] have mixed opinions in this regard. Those who favor this notion ("this notion" is unclear. What notion?) believe that part-time jobs can better train [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] youngsters about [STRIKE][STRIKE]the [/STRIKE][/STRIKE]practical life scenarios. Part-time jobs can also help by meeting the financial needs of students. However, to some, part-time jobs have an adverse effect on [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE] their education [STRIKE]of the individuals [/STRIKE]as they lose [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE]concentration on their studies. I am in favor of part-time jobs for students based on [STRIKE]below mentioned opinions [/STRIKE]the opinions mentioned below.

Students will have to start their practical life eventually and to earn their bread and butter. Those having a job [STRIKE]from [/STRIKE][STRIKE][STRIKE]a[/STRIKE][/STRIKE] in high school can develop [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE] a positive attitude towards the workplace. They know the notions of hard work, responsibility and commitment better than others, which will play a vital role in securing a good job. Employers prefer [STRIKE][STRIKE]the[/STRIKE][/STRIKE] graduates with some prior working experience over [STRIKE]fresh [/STRIKE] ("fresh" doesn't fit here. "other" or, "candidates with no experience" would be better) candidates, as they will be more effective in less time. Part-time jobs can be more effective if [STRIKE]these [/STRIKE] they are related to the student’s area of studies as everything cannot be taught through theory, and a real-world implementation of the concepts can make a huge difference in terms of learning.

Students who are less fortunate in terms of financial stability can use part-time jobs to continue their studies. Getting a quality education requires [STRIKE]more [/STRIKE]financial resources, which are out of reach for many. I [STRIKE]myself [/STRIKE]used to teach mathematics and physics to meet my personal expenses when in college. Part-time jobs can also help in the realization of future objectives in terms of career selection.

[STRIKE]Although[/STRIKE] In some cases, people with part time jobs tend to be very weak in studies and cannot secure good grades, which will affect their education. [STRIKE]but[/STRIKE] Appropriate measures from parents and teachers can help those individuals. Students start developing independent decision making skills. This can lead to problems and sometimes money can steer them away from [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE] their studies.

In conclusion, [STRIKE]part-time [/STRIKE]working part-time has both merits and demerits, but the merits greatly overweigh the opposite. So, I believe that students should [STRIKE]be doing [/STRIKE]have part-time jobs in high school.
Gil
 
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