[General] HE swings the timber and beats on the iron plate

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Marina Gaidar

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In this passage "HE runs to a HUGE SEMANTRON which consists of a big iron plate and a piece of timber. HE swings the timber and beats on the iron plate". It produces an ominous tocsin" is everything correct?
 

emsr2d2

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In this passage "HE runs to a HUGE SEMANTRON which consists of a big iron plate and a piece of timber. HE swings the timber and beats on the iron plate". It produces an ominous tocsin" is everything correct?

I don't know why several words are in capitals. I have no idea what a semantron is, but I don't know if that matters. You have two sets of closing quotation marks. It's "toxin" not "tocsin".
 

Rover_KE

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emsr2d2

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Unless she means 'an alarm bell'.

Aha! You are a genius. I must admit I didn't even look up the word as I figured a semantron might well be something which releases some kind of toxic gas when hit with a piece of wood!

That makes much more sense. Hitting what is effectively a gong (iron plate) with a piece of timber could well create an "ominous tocsin".

However, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person here who had never heard of the word "tocsin" so unless you want to send the reader running for the dictionary, I would use a more standard word/phrase.
 

Marina Gaidar

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Aha! You are a genius. I must admit I didn't even look up the word as I figured a semantron might well be something which releases some kind of toxic gas when hit with a piece of wood!

That makes much more sense. Hitting what is effectively a gong (iron plate) with a piece of timber could well create an "ominous tocsin".

However, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person here who had never heard of the word "tocsin" so unless you want to send the reader running for the dictionary, I would use a more standard word/phrase.

Would it be better to use "alarm" instead of "tocsin"?
 

Marina Gaidar

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I don't know why several words are in capitals. I have no idea what a semantron is, but I don't know if that matters. You have two sets of closing quotation marks. It's "toxin" not "tocsin".

I meant "tocsin" - an alarm bell as Rover mentioned.
 

Rover_KE

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Would it be better to use "alarm" instead of "tocsin"?

How about clang?

[QUOTE-emsr2d2;]I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person here who had never heard of the word "tocsin".[/QUOTE]

Fans of Gilbert and Sullivan will have heard it; it comes in 'Brightly dawns our wedding day' from The Mikado:

'Though the tocsin sound ere long . . .'

Rover
 
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