Need correction of a text with 450 words

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Bubuzela

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Hello,
I had to write a process description in english using the passive.
Iam now searching for someone who would take a look on it to find mistakes.
Anybody here whom i can mail it? Maybe leave a PN

Regards
 

emsr2d2

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Hello,
I had to write a process description in English using the passive.
I am now searching for someone who would take a look [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] at it to find mistakes.
Is there anybody here to whom I can mail it? Maybe leave a PN. (What is a PN?)

Regards.

You are looking for someone to do a professional proofreading/editing job for which, quite rightly, a fee will be charged. Given the errors in this post (which I have corrected in red above), a 450-word text is going to be a long and arduous job. You will need to pay someone to take that kind of time to do this for you.
 

Bubuzela

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Sry, this was just a fast written text (PN is a "private Nachricht" so just a translation mistake must be PM then) Iam just looking for someone who can read my text one or two times to find coarse mistakes.
For e.g. iam not sure with the sentence:

"[...] take now place at the same time:

While the road is closed and the water pump is started, [...] is being placed by [...]"

Or


If needed they can now take over from (sb. )
 

Barb_D

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"[...] take now place at the same time: Do you mean "The following activities occur simultaneously"?

While the road is closed and the water pump is on [STRIKE]started[/STRIKE], [...] is being placed by [...]" Not sure what this means

Or


If needed they can now take over from (sb. )

You should just post your text here and see if someone can take a look.
Personally, I like the larger font, but some people prefer the standard-sized one.

Why do you want to write it in the passive?
If these are instructions, using direct comments is much easier for the person to read and follow.
 

SoothingDave

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Technical manuals do tend to use an authoritative and impersonal tone. But it's not just as simple as wording everything in the passive.
 

Bubuzela

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u mean that the activities occur simultaneously
yes!
So with:
While the road is closed and the water pump is started [by sb.] [sth.] is being placed [by sb.]
are iam right now?

And iam forced by my teacher to write a process description by using the passive...
 
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emsr2d2

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yes!
So with:
While the road is closed and the water pump is started [by sb.] [sth.] is being placed [by sb.]
are iam right now?

And iam forced by my teacher to write a process description by using the passive...

So this is homework?
 
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