can you please help me and check my motivation letter? :)

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oded28

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hey all,
im applying to hospitality university in the netherland.
would love to get suggestions or other corrects for my letter,
it's very important
thanks
oded
here it is:

Dear Sirs,
I am hereby applying for entrance to the one-year international master in hospitality leadership program at *** in September 2013.
First of all, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Oded Arieli, I'm 28 years old, born and raised in Rishon Le-Zion, Israel. But I'm also a European citizen with German citizenship.
I finished my B.A degree in business management with marketing specialization last year in "Peres Academic Center" (college).
Hospitality has always been on my mind, a genuine personal interest, and I even tried to enter that industry when I was younger in jobs such as bar manager in a restaurant or later being a travel agent, just to learn more about hospitality and its' different elements.
I have traveled around the world a lot since I was 8 years old and even lived in Toronto, Canada for 5 months and in India for one year so that surely helped me to improve my English communication and social skills with people around the world that I had never met before (and with whom I'm still in touch) and learn about different cultural practices.
My interests nowadays are mostly about how to make progress with my life, to reach my goals and develop myself especially in the hospitality industry, a field which I regard as my desired life career.
Now after my B.A graduate I feel that I need to finally achieve my goal and master hospitality in ***.
I am very ambitious and motivated as far as my goals are concerned and I always try to develop and take my abilities to the limit, and that's why I'm also planning on working in hospitality during the master program so I could test, improve and master the skills I would learn/acquire.
My hobbies vary largely from watching soccer, messing with all kinds of new gadgets to motocross riding or just going out with friends to a good restaurant or to the beach, or just entertaining at home.
Hospitality has always been an integral part of my life and indeed a life-long dream of mine– having my own hotel or restaurant in the future. This is what brought me to your school where I hope to develop my skills and obtain new ones so I could fit in straight away in the hospitality industry in the Netherlands.
I think that most of my skills, interests and abilities that I mentioned above show my suitability to the master program, but I would like to mention few more values I have. I am very open-minded and have a profound wish to learn, instill values, to grow and develop my hospitality career.
I have a lot of passion for hospitality, I always like to initiate activities, and I can perfectly handle stress situations.
I have high interpersonal and communication skills and always love having people around me whether in work, school or at home.
To sum it all up, I hope this letter has helped you to know a bit about my life, goals, skills, abilities and my suitability to *** for the hospitality master program.
Thank you for considering my application,
Hope to hear from you soon,
Regards,
 

februar

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2011
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Interested in Language
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Home Country
Switzerland
Current Location
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Dear Sir of Madam, (Try to find out the name of the responsible person)

I am hereby applying for the one-year International Master in Hospitality Leadership program at *** in September 2013.

My name is Oded Arieli, I am 28 years old, born and raised in Rishon Le-Zion, Israel. But I am also a European citizen with German citizenship. I finished my B.A degree in business management with marketing specialization last year in "Peres Academic Center" (college).

Hospitality has always been an integral part of my life and indeed a life-long dream of mine– having my own hotel or restaurant in the future. This is what brought me to your school where I hope to develop my skills and obtain new ones so I could fit in straight away in the hospitality industry in the Netherlands.

I entered that industry when I was a young man to work as bar manager in a restaurant or later as a travel agent, just to learn more about hospitality and its different categories of fields. I have traveled around the world a lot since I was 8 years old and even lived in Toronto, Canada for 5 months and in India for one year, and that surely helped me to improve my English communication and social skills with people around the world that I had never met before (and with whom I am still in touch) and learn about different cultural practices.

My interests nowadays are mostly about how to reach my goals and develop myself especially in the hospitality industry, a field which I regard as my desired life career. Now after my B.A graduate I feel that I need to finally achieve my goal and master hospitality in ***. I am very ambitious and motivated as far as my goals are concerned and I always try to develop and take my abilities to the limit, and that is why I am also planning on working in hospitality during the master program so I could test, improve and master the skills I would acquire.

My hobbies vary largely from watching soccer, messing with all kinds of new gadgets to motocross riding or just going out with friends to a good restaurant or to the beach, or just entertaining at home.

I think that most of my skills, interests and abilities that I mentioned above show my suitability to the master program, but I would like to mention few more values I have. I am very open-minded and have a profound wish to learn, instill values, to grow and develop my hospitality career. I always like to initiate activities, and I can perfectly handle stress situations. I have high interpersonal and communication skills and always love having people around me whether in work, school or at home.

I hope this letter has helped you to know a bit about my life, goals, skills, abilities and my suitability to *** for the hospitality master program. Thank you for considering my application.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.


Yours truly (Or: yours sincerely, when using a name)
 
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