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  1. #1
    kenny321 is offline Newbie
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    thesis

    Could I get some feedback on my thesis?

    Professional athletes make a positive impact, and leave a lasting impression on children in the fight against children in the fight against childhood obesity.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: thesis

    Quote Originally Posted by kenny321 View Post
    Could I get some feedback on my thesis?

    Professional athletes make a positive impact, and leave a lasting impression on children in the fight against children in the fight against childhood obesity.
    That's your thesis?! It's a bit short. There's also something very wrong with the section I've marked in red.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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