[Essay] Can you please go over my my essay? I've exam soon

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Purplegirlxx

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In the Shakespearean play “Romeo and Juliet“ Shakespeare allowed the audience to visualize the tragic end of the play by portraying it in the prologue’’ a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life’’. Throughout the play the audience is in the position of thinking about fate and the characters actions or choices. However, in Romeo and Juliet fate is reality. It seems like a constant occurrence and is always stirring up tragedy. As much as Romeo and Juliet try to thwart fate, their destinies are predetermined because; Fate was the main controlling factor of the incidents.


Since the audience knows Romeo and Juliet’s destiny from the early on, they still hope for a happy ending, and peace between the families .but, because of the unfortunate fate’s plan, it doesn’t happen. Even though, peace exsited at the end of the play, although Romeo and Juliet died. As if they sacrificed their life for their families reconciliation without them knowing. Romeo reached the tomb to find his Juliet dead even though she was just sleeping, He drinks the poison; what if Juliet was awakened and none of this happened?, however, fate controlled what was going to happen.
In Act one scene 4 , Romeo speaks of unknown danger “Some consequence yet hanging in the stars” ,he is not feeling good about going to the Capulet’s party .He could’ve chosen not to go but fate took control over his mind , Which made him go and fall in love with his only enemy ,Juliet. But how could she be his enemy if he is in love with her? , all in all , fate made two enemies fall in love to reconcile their families feud, Romeo and Juliet falling in love makes it possible for their families to end their feuds too.




One of the most noted instances where fate is blamed for a mishap is
when Romeo cries out “O,I am fortune’s fool”. He claims that fate
has brought on Mercutio's death, and has lead him to kill Tybalt in revenge. Fate caused him banishment by the prince “immediately we do exile him hence”. It was out of his control; its either he would be put to death or get banished. But it’s not a big difference thought he died at the end …doesn’t matter how much he tries to live, fate always wins. Nevertheless, later on fate starts to get even stronger. For example; when friar Laurence sends a letter to Romeo, informing him about the plan. However, fate didn’t let this letter reach Romeo because the messenger, Friar john got quarantined “sealed up the doors and would not let us forth so that my speed to Mantua there was stayed”. But yet Balthazar got to Romeo and told him that Juliet is dead. This leads to the horrible tragic scenes later on in the play.


In conclusion, Fate was so powerful that it killed the main characters, Romeo and Juliet. But their death did make some difference in the world they left behind. Even though it’s so sad to know that they made the life they wished for after they died. And as the prince Escalus said “For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo”.
 

emsr2d2

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I have moved your post to the Editing and Writing Topics section which is more appropriate.

Take a look at your punctuation. Several times, you have put a space before a full stop or a comma, which is incorrect. At one point, you have also put a question mark followed by a full stop and not followed the full stop with a capital letter. Decide whether you want to capitalise the word "fate" or not.

When do you have to submit this practice piece to your teacher?
 

Purplegirlxx

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I have moved your post to the Editing and Writing Topics section which is more appropriate.

Take a look at your punctuation. Several times, you have put a space before a full stop or a comma, which is incorrect. At one point, you have also put a question mark followed by a full stop and not followed the full stop with a capital letter. Decide whether you want to capitalise the word "fate" or not.

When do you have to submit this practice piece to your teacher?

thank you :).... i've the exam tommorow ..and am gonna write this one . punctuation :S do i have anything else need to be improved or added? .....thanks again
 

emsr2d2

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If this is the essay you are going to use in your exam, then we cannot help you. They need to see what you can write, not what we can write. If we edit your piece and you use our version, it's cheating. Good luck in your exam. After you get your mark and you have your essay back with corrections, let us know if you don't understand any of the corrections.

I'm going to close this thread now to avoid anyone who hasn't noticed that this is an exam piece making any revisions. You can open a new thread if you need to with any queries after the exam.
 
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