[Essay] could anyone please correct my ielts essay an tell me my score

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shadic

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Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine.However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may bedangerous.
To whatextent do you agree with this statement?

It has been recently noticed that many people start to move toward alternative medicine instead of conventional medicine.However there is a lot of argument about alternative therapy.Some people would argue that alternative therapy could never be useful but always harmful.

TO begin with,many people start using ulternative medicine when they got desperate from healing using conventional one.We can not deny that sometimes conventional medicine failed to cure certain type of rigorous diseases such as cancer. Patients always look for any kind of hope to make them cure,therefore,they go to ulternative medicine seeking for solution to there problems.In addition,ulternative medicine is not new branch of medicine,ancient people used to treat their patients with herbs and acuupuncture.Furthermore many of the drugs we use,are made of herbs extract,for this reasone people argue that why could not we use these herbs as a raw material without any processing.
On the other hand,people who are against the usage of ulternative therapy,say that it is not effective,and patients should use it ,for example herbs,for long time to get the desirable effect.Moreover,it is more easy to take a pill than to prepare a herbal drink.Other people argue that it may be harmful and toxic,depending on the fact that;no one know exactly know how many chemicals are there in one plant.It is more safer to take a pill that you are sure it has been tested in laboratories before going to the market,and it is for sure effective.let us take an example,some people use senna leaves to decrease their weight,but as a matter of fact when they use senna.they lose an important minerals and nutrients which are necessary for good health instead of loosing weight;Because it works as a laxative,for this its hould not be use to reduce weight.

In conclusion,I would say that it isthe responsibility of physician to fined way to use both conventional and alternative therapy,as they both complement each other,and also there should be collage spesialist in teaching ulternetives therapy.by this way we could make the most of its benefits and avoid its problems.


 
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shadic

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Please,could anyone correct my essay,I need your help.
 

emsr2d2

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Are you going to submit this essay for your IELTS?
 

shadic

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I am just trying to write an essay by myself,I have never got the opportunity to know my level of writting,so if you could please help me,and correct my essay,this will allow me know my point of weakness.
 

emsr2d2

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You have already been assisted with this in another thread: https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/...nyone-please-correct-my-essay.html#post959357

Please don't keep posting the same thing.

My main piece of advice though is that you need to remember to put a space after every comma and after every full stop.

For now, I am closing this thread and you should continue to work on the thread I have given the link to above.
 
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