Please check and rate my essay

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haidy97

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Joined
May 2, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Saudi Arabia
(people say there is a first time for everything.recently you did something for the first time in your life.)

*say what gave you the idea to do it
*describe what you did for the first tine .
*explain why you would or would not like to repeat the experience

Dear molly,
How are you? I hope you are doing well. Sorry I am taking so long to write, but I have been busy this weekend. Anyway, I thought I would drop you a line to let you know all about it.
Last week, I decided to go to the Horse Riding contest which took place in Peru, I knew about this contest from a leaflet which was hanged on a bus. During the trek, a route that winds through the valleys and over the mountain’s passes was followed. People from all around the world came to join in this contest. The track lies between two mountains and is, specially, designed for horse races. Each member rode on his horse getting ready in addition to a small group of helpers for emergency, the contests were just six. After the sign, we began the race; I was occupying the third rank when we finished the race.
I was really blessed with experience and I am longing to recur it over again as it was dreadfully impressive.
Well, that’s all my news for now. Please write back and let me know what you have been up to.
Lots of love,
Relina
thanks in advance:-D
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
(people say there is a first time for everything.recently you did something for the first time in your life.)

*say what gave you the idea to do it
*describe what you did for the first tine .
*explain why you would or would not like to repeat the experience

Dear Molly,
How are you? I hope you are doing well. Sorry I am taking so long to write, but I have been busy this weekend. Anyway, I thought I would drop you a line to let you know all about it.
Last week, I decided to go to the Horse Riding contest which took place in Peru, I knew about this contest from a leaflet which was [STRIKE] hanged [/STRIKE] posted on [STRIKE] a [/STRIKE] the bus. [STRIKE] During the trek, [/STRIKE] A route that winds through the valleys and over the mountain’s passes was followed. People from all around the world came to join in this contest. The track lies between two mountains and is specially designed for horse races. Each member rode on his horse getting ready in addition to a small group of helpers for any emergency. There were just six contests. [STRIKE] the contests were just six. [/STRIKE] After the [STRIKE] sign [/STRIKE] signal, we began the race; I was occupying the third rank when we finished the race.
I was really blessed with the experience and I am longing to [STRIKE] recur [/STRIKE] [STRIKE] it over [/STRIKE] participate again as it was [STRIKE]dreadfully [/STRIKE] (this is a negative term that I don't think you intend) tremendously impressive.
Well, that’s all my news for now. Please write back and let me know what you have been up to.
Lots of love,
Relina
thanks in advance:-D

Suggestions.
 
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