Hello, this the first time that I'm using this web site, and I'd wrote an essay and I need to know how can I improve it.
The essay is about my living experience on the north of Israel.
In the first year living in the north of Israel, I had realized that every single person there was too tiered to sleep wearing shoes. My house is my safety place and my duty is to make sure that the people around me, feel their home the safest place on earth like I do. It was when I decided to fight, against who shot rockets, against whom took the liberty of those I care about. I was too young to know that my enemy is immune to bullets, tanks and any other device that causes physical damage. Cause he is made by the weapons
Inside Israel, I, a boy with 11 years old fascinated by the motivation of "my people" and influenced by them. I came to believe that to give land to others would not solve any problem, as opposed, take out the Jews, the Israeli Jews from their home, will only cause more upheavals. I was convinced that the right thing was to become a soldier, I had to fight against those who had opposed my country, against whom messed up our sovereignty. I had to enter in Gaza, kill the Palestinians. Only than I will be a complete citizen.
Four years latter, my parents decided to return to Brazil, to Manaus, where there I was heavily involved with the Jewish community, especially within the Habonim Dror a Zionist youth movement. All this reality's change made me to reflect about the real target, the enemy is not the Palestinian that stands on the other side of the wall, or even the gun's manufacture that was 10 minutes walking from my house, even if there is made every day thousands of guns, bullets and every thing that every army needs for being the winner in some war.
But the real enemy is the lack of creativity and imagination. This youth movement gave me the opportunity to know more deeply the thought of a "peacenik". Within this concept widespread by the Israeli writer Amos Oz. In one of his lectures, entitled "How to Cure a Fanatic", the author states that a Fanatic is the reason of the hole trouble and his piece is the lack of creativity, because he can not create a reality that he can sleeps without wearing shoes, and fails again because he is unable to imagine how the other side is so equal.