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  1. Newbie
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      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2013
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Can You Please Help Me Edit My Childrens Story?

    I have written a story for a family memeber. I am not the best at editing, and if you could please help, I would be so thankful! Thanks so much!

    Smart Alec-

    You will want to meet Alec.
    He is the smartest kid in the World.
    There is only one question he can not answer.
    He has tried many times before.
    Smart Alec always seems to wonder if magic is real.
    He has studied magic in movies and story books, but without proof magic is loosing its appeal.
    Smart Alec asked his family if they had ever seen magic before.
    When his parents told him they saw magic in their kids, it made Smart Alec want to head for the door.
    Smart Alec's sister said she saw magic in her bed time stories each and every night.
    Smart Alec's brother made fun of him for believing in magic, and it started a nasty fight.
    Smart Alec was sent to his room, and he made sure to slam his door.
    He stomped his feet, and yelled out, I don't like you any more.
    In his head Smart Alec could not handle not being able to answer a question out right.
    So, he decided to stop believing in magic, and that is when he saw a very bright light.
    A tiny Leprechaun landed on Smart Alec's bedroom floor.
    The leprechaun offered Alec a wish, but only if he would never say what he had said before.
    Smart Alec shook his head quickly.
    He was so excited, he had never been offered a wish.
    He quickly wished he had his own Leprechaun, and Alec was sure nothing could be cooler than this.
    The Leprechaun told Alec he could not agree to his wish.
    He told Alec he had his own family to go home to, and he was sure he could ask for something better than this.
    Alec was sad he could not keep the leprechaun, but knew what his next wish would be.
    The wish took place for Smart Alec's brother the very next morning, even though he was mean and nasty.
    Beside Smart Alec's brother's bed was a tiny leprechaun doll with a note attached.
    You see, Smart Alec loved his older brother, and he could not let this opportunity pass.
    "To show you that magic is real, your brother has given up his one wish. Make sure this wish is a wish that lasts. No gift is better than this."
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 01-Mar-2013 at 00:10.

  2. Newbie
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Czech
      • Home Country:
      • Czech Republic
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 24
    #2

    Re: Can You Please Help Me Edit My Childrens Story?

    ...Alec was sad he could not keep the leprechaun, but knew WHAT his next wish would be....
    ...Make sure this wish is a wish that lastS...

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 53,157
    #3

    Re: Can You Please Help Me Edit My Childrens Story?

    You didn't need to add an extra post with your additions. If you click on "Edit Post" in the bottom right-hand corner of any of your posts, you can change it yourself. To help you, I have made the changes you pointed out in your original post (I can edit other people's posts because I am a moderator).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 53,157
    #4

    Re: Can You Please Help Me Edit My Childrens Story?

    Quote Originally Posted by JessieCaroline View Post
    I have written a story for a family memeber member. I am not the best at editing, and if you could please help, I would be so thankful! Thanks so much!

    Smart Alec-

    You will want to meet Alec.
    He is the smartest kid in the world.
    There is only one question he can not cannot answer.
    He has tried many times before.
    Smart Alec always seems to wonders if magic is real.
    He has studied magic in movies and story books but without proof, magic is loosing losing its appeal.
    Smart Alec asked his family if they had ever seen magic before.
    When his parents told him they saw magic in their kids, it made Smart Alec want to head for the door.
    Smart Alec's sister said she saw magic in her bed time bedtime stories each and every night.
    Smart Alec's brother made fun of him for believing in magic, and it started a nasty fight.
    Smart Alec was sent to his room, and he made sure to slam his door.
    He stomped his feet, and yelled out "I don't like you any more".
    In his head, Smart Alec could not handle not being able to answer a question out right outright.
    So (no comma required) he decided to stop believing in magic, and that is when he saw a very bright light.
    But then, a tiny leprechaun landed on Smart Alec's bedroom floor.
    The leprechaun offered Alec a wish, but only if he would never say what he had said before.
    Smart Alec shook his head quickly.
    He was so excited - he had never been offered a wish.
    He quickly wished he had his own leprechaun, and Alec was sure nothing could be cooler than this.
    The leprechaun told Alec he could not agree to fulfil his wish.
    He told Alec he had his own family to go home to, and he was sure he could ask for something better than this.
    Alec was sad he could not keep the leprechaun, but knew what his next wish would be.
    The wish took place was fulfilled for Smart Alec's brother the very next morning, even though he was mean and nasty.
    Beside Smart Alec's brother's bed was a tiny leprechaun doll with a note attached.
    You see, Smart Alec loved his older brother, and he could not let this opportunity pass.
    "To show you that magic is real, your brother has given up his one wish. Make sure this wish is a wish that lasts. No gift is better than this."
    Please see my (few) corrections above in red.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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