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  1. #1
    nakash is offline Junior Member
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    Please correct this sentence

    HOCCS is a nonprofit, nongovernmental, human rights, advocacy, and lobbying and development organization working since 1999 with the marginalized and most vulnerable segments of the society.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Please correct this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by nakash View Post
    HOCCS is a non-profit, non-governmental, human rights, advocacy, and lobbying and development organization working since 1999 with the marginalized and most vulnerable segments of the society.
    It's a rather long sentence but my only suggested amendments are above. However, as you have used "non-governmental" early in the sentence and then "organisation" later in the sentence, you may as well reorder it and use NGO.

    HOCCS is a non-profit, human rights, advocacy, and lobbying and development NGO, which has worked with the most vulnerable and marginalised sections of society since 1999.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 12-Mar-2013 at 21:36.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
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    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Re: Please correct this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by nakash View Post
    HOCCS is a nonprofit, nongovernmental, human rights, advocacy, and lobbying and development organization working with the marginalized and most vulnerable segments of the society since 1999.
    There's not really a problem with the sentence as you wrote it, I've just made a couple of minor adjustments.

    But perhaps you want to compartmentalize the description more:

    HOCCS is a non-profit human rights and development NGO, and has been lobbying and advocating for the marginalized and most vulnerable segments of society since 1999.

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Please correct this sentence

    For info, I prefer Mr_Ben's version in post #3 to my own in post #2.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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