Marked in red above are the corrections I would have made to her letter. Some of yours weren't very clear, and I'm not sure why you had a problem with the word "hospitalised".I assigned a writing task to my student. She need to write an email to: apologize for her failure to keep the appointment, explain her reason,
and express she wish to make another appointment in an appropriate style.
Her writing is :
Dear Professor Brown,
First of all, I must apologize for not
being able to keephaving kept our appointment. I do know that this isI realise that it was very impolite and must have caused you too mucha lot of inconvenience. ButUnfortunately, on my way to your office, I got a callwas notified that my grandmother had suddenly fellfallen ill and had had to be hospitalized. I do hope that you wouldmight spare your valuable time to meet me tomorrow afternoon in your office. And I am extremely sorry for that.Again, please accept my sincere apologies and I am looking forward to hearing fromhope to see you tomorrow.
First of all,(no 'secondly' follows) I must apologize for not being able to keep our appointment. I do know that this(It) is very impolite and must(repeat. There is a 'must' in the first sentence.)have caused you too much inconvenience. But unfortunately, on my way to your office, I got a call that my grandmother suddenly fell ill and had to be hospitalized(be sent to hospital). I do hope that you would spare your valuable time to meet me tomorrow afternoon in your office.(Could you spare me some of your valuable time tomorrow afternoon in your office?) And I am extremely sorry for that.Please accept my sincere apologies. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Could you tell me whether my correction is right or wrong?