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    #1

    under the command

    How to combine the following sentences into one sentence? I tried to write it as following. Is it acceptable?

    1. Our next generation lives in a privileged and pampered surrounding.
    2. Our next generation lives in the competitive environment which is under the command by exams (emphasizes the importance of exam results)
    3. Will our next generation raised by us become people of apathy?

    Living in a privileged and pampered surrounding, as well as in the competitive environment which is under the command by exams, won’t our next generation raised by us become people of apathy?

  1. Nehushtan's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: “Under the command”

    I would say “the next generation” and put the first two sentences in the future tense.

    For the second sentence, I would write it as follows: “The next generation will live in a competitive environment governed by exams.”
    Last edited by Nehushtan; 24-Mar-2013 at 15:16.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: “Under the command”

    "Our next generation raised by us" is not natural.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #4

    Re: “Under the command”

    I rewrite the sentence as following. Is it acceptable?

    Living in a privileged and pampered surrounding, as well as in a competitive environment governed by exams, won’t the next generation become people of apathy?

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: “Under the command”

    I don't understand the logic of expecting apathy in people who are competing with one another.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: “Under the command”

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    I rewrite the sentence as following. Is it acceptable?

    Living in a privileged and pampered surrounding, as well as in a competitive environment governed by exams, won’t the next generation become people of apathy?
    We normally refer to "surroundings" not "surrounding". My suggestion for the whole sentence would be:

    Living a privileged and pampered life, in a competitive environment governed by exams, isn't the next generation likely to be apathetic?

    I have to point out that if I were living in a competitive environment, I would be unlikely to be apathetic.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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