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  1. #1
    savvye is offline Newbie
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    Help with concluding sentence

    I don't like how the concluding sentence sounds; it sounds very weak. Therefore, I would like for anyone to help make the sentence sound stronger and powerful. (suggestions)


    The risks of cyber-stalking are of concern in the digital era and therefore, it should further discourage people from using social media because it could endanger their life

  2. #2
    Mr_Ben's Avatar
    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Re: Help with concluding sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by savvye View Post
    I don't like how the concluding sentence sounds; it sounds very weak. Therefore, I would like for anyone to help make the sentence sound stronger and powerful. (suggestions)


    The risks of cyber-stalking
    are of concern in the digital era and therefore, it should further discourage people from using social media because it could endanger their life
    It's a fine conclusion as it is, but if you want it to be stronger, look at the places where it is weak (highlighted in blue). You could try it like this:

    There is a concerning risk of cyber-stalking in the digital area and therefore people need to be more careful when using social media so they don't put their lives in danger.

    Now I think my version is too strong though, maybe you can find a compromise?

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