Results 1 to 1 of 1
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Korean
      • Home Country:
      • South Korea
      • Current Location:
      • South Korea

    • Join Date: Apr 2013
    • Posts: 1

    Smile Please read my essay and give advice to me.

    Hi, I'm newbie.
    I've been taking a English presentation class at my univ and have to give a speech in front of classes.
    I just wrote my story but still a little bit iffy about how to organize an essay.
    Please give me advice.

    1. Hometown & Family
    I was born in S, S.K in 1990. And I moved to Y when I was 7 years old because of my family situation. Since my father was the oldest son, we had to care for my grandfather. After that, I have lived in this city for 17 years with my family. There are four people in my family. There are My father, my mother, my elder sister and I(me). My father ran our family business here in Y. My mother is CHO which means Chief Housing officer. So, everything concerning our home belongs to her. My elder sister is a loan officer at bank.

    3-1. Work experience
    When I entered this college, I wanted to have a lot of experience. So, I started a part-time job. I worked as a member of the staff at Paris Baguette in Yeoseodong for about a year. It was hard but worth-while. There were lots of different breads and pastries to eat there. I used to eat some stuff for free.
    After I quit the job, my friend suggested that I go to work at an English academy. You know, It is always hard to teach kids. Keeping their interest for a class hour isn’t easy. But I usually studied grammar to prepare classes. It helped both the kids and me. And I had to take care of lots of assignment. I’ve learned a lot of things since then.

    4. Like
    I'm the kind of person who loves to travel with my friend. In K, there are many places to visit. When I travel with my friends, I always meet new friend and share my story with him/her.
    It definitely helps me to refresh myself and relieve stress. These are the picture of my travels.

    5. In near future
    I’m doing a double major in English language and International commerce at this school.
    During school life, I’ve been influenced by those majors. When I get a job, I would like to apply for a marketing or overseas sales position. So, I would like to go aboard for business trips.
    Last edited by fixyou; 16-Apr-2013 at 22:59.

Similar Threads

  1. Could a teacher please proof read and give paragraph advice
    By boozl in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 24-Sep-2011, 08:40
  2. [Essay] Would any teachers here give me some advice about this essay?
    By heyun in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Jul-2009, 00:36
  3. please read my poem and give your advice.
    By Ever Student in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Apr-2009, 11:48
  4. Please read and give me advice on these essays. Thanks in advance
    By tuanlinh in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 15-Mar-2008, 09:06
  5. Please give me some pieces of advice about my essay
    By linhtho0211 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-Jan-2008, 13:05


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts