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Thread: Proof Read?

    • Join Date: Feb 2006
    • Posts: 6

    Can Someone Proof Read This Please?

    Hey Im Looking For Someone To Proof Read This Essay Due Tonight? Its Only A Page Long And Its Supposed To Be Descriptive, Defining How My Hobby Relates To Me! Please Proof Read If You Have A Chance. I Have Included It Into The Body.
    Depression defined, is a serious medical condition that affects thoughts, feelings, and the ability to function in every day life, which can occur at any age. It has been acknowledged, that a big sign of depression is the lack of interest in a hobby. It is also estimated, that 19 million people over the age of 18, experience some type of depression a year! I on the other hand, believe that I will never be in this state of depression because I know that I could never lose interest in my all time favorite hobby surfing, the sport that clearly defines who I am. The dictionary defines surfing as the sport of riding on the crest or along the tunnel of a wave, especially while standing or lying on a surfboard but I see it as so much more.
    One of the greatest beauties about surfing, is the ongoing sights that only one can see if floating over theses dark blue waters. All around me, open deep waters, yet I am freed to roam wherever I wish to go, away from the rest of the society, but I am still to near. The little hills of the ocean, forming feet away from me into pounding, crushing monsters of the sea. Some among the many are lucky enough to see the inside of this monster, a rolling barrel full of crystal blue waters that will suddenly shut itself of to the world whenever it has the chance. This is a beauty that many wish they could see, or only imagine about, because they have a fear of these precious waters.
    While surfing, there are also many wonderful sounds that many believe they can hear, but have no idea. One of the greatest sounds comes from every one around you. Although it may be silent, you can still hear it ; anxiousness. As the anxious people wait, if listening closely the sounds of echoing sea shells can be heard. Once riding these monsters, you can hear the desperate sounds of relief, pounding and crashing down against sides of you. Almost the sound of a turbine plane, but quiet enough for the human ear to listen.
    Yet the sights and sounds may be a beautiful thing, the feeling is one like no other. As you wait in the constant rocking and sways of the water, you have a tiny feeling inside that the monster is coming. As you lay hopelessly on the carved wood you only hope that itís the biggest, yet greatest of the day. You feel the mounds of the wax, filled with tiny grains of sand, tearing away at your stomach. As you stare at the horrendous rash, you catch out of the corner of your eye the monster coming in. Suddenly none of this matters. As you paddle perpetually, you only hope this one is yours. Out of no where, the water propels you forward as you jolt up and take the 20 second ride of your life gliding toward the shore. A feeling no one can define.
    As your hands glide through the water, your only memory left is the smells as well as the tastes of this adventure, still lingering among your tongue. The nasty smell of never-ending salt water, and the taste of grains of salt filling the tiny cracks inside your cheeks. Some cannot stand this awkward smell of the ocean, yet alone the horrible taste, but me on the other hand find it rewarding.
    I would have to say that surfing clearly does define who I am. I am an outgoing, adventurous person. Many say that I am free-spirited, an adjective that can be clearly related to surfing. I love to be on top of the things that hold me back in this world, such as the monsters of the sea. As I propel forward in life and conquer tasks that I thought were once not capable of being done, there are no words to define it. Sometime life does stink, kind of like the ocean, but I know that if I hang in there the rewards that are the conclusion are usually the best.
    Last edited by foxrider407; 21-Feb-2006 at 22:05.

    • Join Date: Feb 2006
    • Posts: 6

    Re: Proof Read?

    Yikes.. well this thing is due in an hour and im still debating on whether to even turn it in tonight or just not show up? anyone have any feedback!

  1. Editor,
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 60,154

    Re: Proof Read?

    If you want something proofread in such a short time, then please contact a site that specialises in proofreading with a short turnaround time.

    If you take the first sentence, there are a number of mistakes:
    Depression defined, is a serious medical condition that affects thoughts, feelings, and the ability to function in every day life, which can occur at any age.
    Should be:

    Depression is defined as a serious medical condition that affects thoughts, feelings, and the ability to function in everyday life which can occur at any age.

    People will help here, but this is a free site, so we don't have staff sitting here 24-hours a day waiting to proofread things. If you want people to help, then you must give them time, not post the entire thing. I, for example, live in Japan, so I am in a completely different timezone- several hours ahead, so your deadline has expired while I am in bed. In future, try to post earlier, and try to post paragraphs, say, as you write them and you'll get the results you want. I haven't gone through all of this as the deadline has expired, but will do so next time as long as you give us time.

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