help me check a thank-you letter

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ziawj2

Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
Please help me check the thank-you letter to make it natural, coherent and acceptable to native speakers. Thank you.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am writing to express my sincere thanks to two of your staff, Susan Smith, for her great assistance. I booked two air tickets for December 31: one is your air flight 222 to Hongkong, and the other is English air flight 333 to Bombay. Flight 222 was delayed two hours due to bad weather conditions and I would miss my flight to Bombay. I was extremely worried and went to a staff member(later I knew she was Ms Smith) and told her my problem. She made a call immediately and changed an earlier flight for me very soon.
Because of her help, I arrived at Hongkong in time and boarded my flight. I appreciated her very much and if possible, I would like you to praise her and reward her with a honor title.
Yours faithfully
Zhang San
 

EnglishFix

Member
Joined
May 21, 2013
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Chile
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my sincere thanks to a member of your staff, Susan Smith, for her great assistance.

I booked two air tickets for December 31. One was flight 222 to Hong Kong and the other was English Air flight 333 to Bombay. Flight 222 was delayed two hours due to bad weather conditions and I would have missed my flight to Bombay. I was extremely worried and went to a staff member (later I learned she was Ms. Smith) and told her my problem. She made a call immediately and changed me to an earlier flight.

Because of her help, I arrived in Hong Kong on time and boarded my flight. I appreciated her very much and if possible, I would like you to praise her and reward her.

Yours faithfully,

Zhang San
 
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